There was a time...but hope

There was a time I looked in the mirror and despaired. I struggled with acne for so long and wondered how anybody would ever think I was beautiful. I wondered if I’d ever find a man I thought was Godly and handsome and kind and funny.

.hope.

There was a time when I was temporarily paralyzed, and then spent the next few years taking 9 painkillers a day just to walk in the morning and make it through the day, only to be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I wondered if I’d ever feel normal again...if I ever would run and play and be able to wear a swimsuit and not be allergic to the sun.

.hope.

There was a time when I felt deeply wounded by a best friend. The pain went deep and the unreciprocated relationship cut my heart out daily. I wondered if I would ever not flinch when her name came up or someone asked me about her.

.hope.

There was a time when a doctor looked me square in the eye and said "you have Lupus. You probably won't ever be able to get pregnant".

.hope.

There was a time when I believed the lie that I was “too much” and believed that others opinions about me mattered more than Gods opinion about me. I wondered if I’d ever get my life back...because “lost” is what happens when you put the control in others hands.

.hope

Oh dear sweet friend,
wherever you are,
whatever situation you face,
whatever has been said to you,
whatever lies you believe right now.

there is HOPE for something different.

right on the other side of where you are,
God sees a different picture.

When I felt ugly and despairing of finding my love....
God brought healing to my skin and a husband who loved me flaws and all.

When I was incredibly sick....
God brought me to a holistic doctor who nursed me back to thriving health.

When I was wounded by a friend....
God restored and redeemed our relationship into something beautiful.

When I was told "you'll never be able to get pregnant"...
God gifted me two precious children from my womb.

When I believed I was "too much"....
God freed my heart to joyously bask in HIS love as I live my life.

Oh dear one.
This is why, all those years ago, I called my blog hope engaged.

Hope...
it's what I cling to.
And when placed it Christ,
will not disappoint.


" and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Romans 5:5
 

time is life, and a new beginning for me

time.

i think about it a lot. 

how much time is filled and brimming busy with chaos

that i forget to

stop

enjoy and 

savor. 

it's like we're all running around in madness trying to stuff as many activities into our calendar,

and then we are so drained of energy that the busyness is not enjoyable but just distressing. 

Ann Voskamp says 

"hurry always makes us hurt...hurry empties our souls." 

so yes. I think a lot about this. which is why I had this epiphany last year that I wanted to be Amish, and it was my goal. 

but guess what? 

I didn't raise any barns and I didn't make any Amish friendship bread or wear a bonnet. 

but slowly, ever slowly, i made changes to soak in time. 

Kev and I made a vow that our home would be filled with relationships. 

we got rid of tv, iphones, ipads

because we wanted all attention on our guests, not on a distraction. 

so as I read chapter 4 of "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp, I was steadily reminded that time is life. She says

"They say time is money, but that' not true. 

Time is life.

and if i want the fullest life, i need to find fullest time" 

this past year I was overcome with a yearning, almost aching

to be more present. 

especially in my neighborhood. 

I had kids texting me all the time to hang out, and as our busy scheduled filled,

i constantly was trying to cram small spaces to deepen my relationships with these precious kids. 

clearly, very cleary

i felt Abba calling me to consider leaving my job at Empowering Lives International. 

leave? i love my job.

I get to mobilize people here in the US about what God is doing in Africa! 

I get to hear stories of transformation daily! 

but then it became so evident. 

as i looked out into the wounds and pain of my neighborhood

i saw that the gospel must take root, alive and active. 

the good news that FREEDOM is available for all. 

that Abba calls his people out of darkness and into light.

it hit me like a ton of bricks that I wouldn't be true to my calling if I didn't step out to be a messenger of this 

good 

news.

and not just to share it once and run away,

 but to live it alongside these friends i love. 

because discipleship isn't just a one time deal.

it's TIME. 

it's daily walking,

surrendering,

and battling together. 

so friends, i quit my job. 

as of december 31st, i will not longer have a desk job

but a love job. 

as in i get to love as jesus loved, 

and roamed 

and told stories 

and cried

and struggled

and celebrated when those who were lost became found. 

i'm not sure if kev and i will have enough money. 

but i'm realizing this. 

time isn't money. 

time is life.

and the only way to live it is soaked in thankfulness 

when i am thank-full

i am time-full. 

pray for me dearest friends.

i'm scared

and pretty unqualified,

but when we are called to create time for others,

we are called in the right direction. 

i am sure of it. 

because jesus was. 

enjoy your weekend! 

love Katie 

Emily from Meme & He
Tara from A Brew of Blessings
Allison from A Nestful of Love
Kristen from Love, Done Simply

open house

it's funny how often time we compartmentalize our lives.

there is work time, play time, ministry time.

and it's really quite silly, to be honest. 

i look at jesus.

to him, it was all one. 

just time. 

to be. 

{JT sitting on Kev's lap for hours while we had company. so many hours in fact that he passed out and slept in kev's arms. too precious}

shouldn't ministry, or mission, be inched into the very fabric of every walking moving breathing moment we have? 

jesus, 

the one we pray we model,

seemed to always do his best work in the most human of circumstances. 

in his walking, in his drinking, in his eating. 

jesus needed water and sat at a well. 

hello woman at the well!

boom, 

miracle,

her life is transformed,

her town hears the gospel. 

and all because human jesus needed a drink. 

there he goes, using his humanly needs as a chance to love and share freedom. 
literally.  

{one night after Bible study, a few students stayed around to talk. So we made waffles, cause that's the normal thing to do, right? }

the divine happens to 

occur along the way. 

unexpected. 

{chef jojo helping me make peach cobbler. seriously, how can you resist that face?!?}

some really wonderful people wrote

"{these moments} will seem like interruptions, but if you begin to look for God's fingerprints in your day and in every relationship, in every coffee shop, in every conversation you have with your neighbor, there's a good chance you will begin to see God's incarnational presence" 

incarnational.

"to take on flesh"

and so we pray that we take on the flesh of Christ. 

the one who was never in a hurry,

never shooed anyone away.

but was an open house to 

the hurting, 

the broken,

the lost,

and the deprived. 

all along the way. 

a few weeks ago,

i ran home from the gym, and being that it's been hotter than the blazes this Fall,

i was a drippy mess. 

new neighbors moved in below us, and as I headed down the path towards our house, a man walked along side me that I didn't recognize. 

"hi" I beamed, "i'm katie, I live above you"

"francisco" came his reply with a smile. 

"do you have a new baby?" I asked with curiosity at the cute squeals and cries I had been hearing. 

"yes, do you want to meet her? come on in..."

now i had a to-do list longer than life, AND was making puddles from all my sweat. 

but this was a miracle- an invitation to do life with my neighbors. 

i walked in, and looked around. 

there she sat, proud mama and sweet baby. 

carmen and victoria. 

i washed my hands (and arms too!)

and held victoria for 45 minutes while I chatted with Carmen. 

despite our varied life stages, we were kindred spirits. 

i left feeling SO alive and inspired. 

this. 

this is why i moved into the neighborhood. 

to incarnate the love of Christ in relationship. 

movement towards Christ on a journey with others. 

i'm so glad my busyness didn't affect the spontaneous. 

christ owns time, and as his daughter, i have it. 

lots of it. 

so may we walk and talk and love as one. 

no compartments.

just one big open house. 

so may we surrender our time to Abba's

and may he stake a sign,

that boldly proclaims

"OPEN HOUSE"

on our home

and more importantly our hearts. 

and may the fine print read, 

come in

come in

for there is always room in the kingdom.

{story time with JT}

{precious time with our sweet god-daughter}

live as an open house today dear one. 

not a compartment. 

much love,

Katie 

"the word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. we saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory, like father, like son, generous inside and out, true from start to finish. "

- John 1:14, the Message 

speak light

"words that do not give the light of christ increase the darkness" 

-mother teresa

words carry weight

that can batter and wound

and equally

refresh and encourage. 

words are not to be taken lightly,

ever. 

i sometimes forget that, and it has cost me. 

some of us have been hurt beyond measure by words. 

long ago I went through a season,

where I was repeatedly hurt by words from a friend. 

gossip, blatant put-downs, humiliation in front of others. 

in that time, my soul of freedom morphed into a sopping mess that quickly put up it's defenses. 

i went from a carefree school girl into a prison of self-consciousness. 

because these words from this friend were personal (often times personal attacks),

 i became conditioned to think that all who teased me were truly making personal attacks on my character. 

and so i began to live out of my wounds

scared that almost anything I said would be wrong, worried that I was somehow offending someone by some action, and all sorts of other small nuances.

my poor spirit analyzing every move I made in hopes that I didn't offend anyone. 

and the wounded often wound. 

for i am no better than this friend, as I too have hurt people by my unkind words.  

out of my own hurt came words that did not bring light, and did not encourage. 

often times I didn't mean for them to hurt, but i'm realizing that we must be so careful with what we utter.
will it bring life?

and in this last season, the Lord has mercifully and most poignantly

pointed out the tandem power of words and grace. 

grace for others when they have wounded us.

grace that will hopefully stop us from saying anything in our pain that would hurt the other. 

grace that allows us to forgive and step out of the festering pain of our wounds. 

and grace for ourselves when we mess up and bring darkness with our words. 

because grace covers all. 

romans 14:19 says 

"let us therefore make every effort to do what lead to peace and to mutual edification" 

words that bring darkness do not lead to peace or edification. 

ever. 

remember that. 

so may we be people who only utter the LIGHT OF CHRIST. 

may we be realists, who despite living with pain, recognize the absolute need for kindness even in truth.

because words of LIGHT bring life.
they are fountains of water to refresh,
ushering JOY anew.

so may our words be filled with peace and edification,

always. 

speak LIGHT today dearest friends, 

love katie 

a new kind of bucket list...

a few days ago my brain waves were altered when I read Ann Voskamp's blog post entitled

 "How to Live the Really Best Bucket List". 

we ALL have a bucket list. 

admit it. 

there are experiences you are DYING to have, and even if you haven't written them out,

you still long for them. 

Ann begins the impact....

________________________________________________

Oxford Dictionary defines a Bucket List as this 

"a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime." 

Like a number of experiences I hope to have — instead of a number of experiences I thank Him for having?

Why does the list of want-to-experiences continue to grow — instead of the list of thanks-for-this experiences?

Why want more to fill our bucket — when I haven’t thanked God for all the ways He’s already filled my cup?

I don’t want a bucket list as much as I want a poured bucket list. I’m thinking:

The best lives don’t have Bucket Lists as much as they have Empty Bucket lists.

Because the thing is when I kick the bucket, I don’t want there to be anything left in my bucket. When I kick the bucket, I want the bucket right empty.

I don’t want my life to be how I took experiences — but that I gave exceedingly.

That I gave every last drop, that I poured it all out, that I held nothing back. 

Because the way to really live is not to try to fill your life up — but to spill your life out."

{if you want to read the entire post, click here}

___________________________________________________

my heart raced as these words passed through my mind. 

YES, instead of looking to add the next big excitement to my life,

and becoming disillusioned when it didn't happen fast enough,

I began to yearn to THANK GOD for the buckets He's ALREADY FILLED

and filled overflowing to the brim!

and open clenched fists to say,

"pour me"

"pour me out Abba" 

"so that all you've filled in my buckets is given BACK to you"

because isn't that the way of Christ?

blessed to be a blessing. 

poured into to be poured out. 

so as I reflected on this last week, and changed my view of "buckets"

here are the beautiful ways in which I saw God at work in my buckets,

pouring in and then pouring me out....

ENCOURAGEMENT 

this past March, i spoke at a missions conference in the central valley. 

i shared at 5 different churches during the week, and it was such an incredible experience. 

in one tiny little farming town, i met sweet Laurie. 

she is a pastor's wife that loves her flock, and gives and gives and gives till there is nothing left.

because that's how much she loves. 

and when i met her, she was tired, and exhausted and happy to have other women of faith to talk with. 

during the year  my co-worker Diana and I would talk to Laurie on the phone,

and as always, she was loving others till it hurt. 

Diana and I felt the Lord nudging us to encourage this special woman in some way. 

so we planned a retreat for Laurie,

with lots of pampering, worship music, scripture reading, prayer, beach time and yummy food. 

Laurie came last weekend to my house, and Diana and I were given the most special opportunity to love this woman of God. 

we laughed together, and cried together, and fellowshipped in a most divine way. 

and the spirit was there. 

moving. 

loving us tenderly. 

and when we said our goodbyes, i realized it was the best way to spend 3 days of my life. 

loving and encouraging those around me, and being encouraged myself! 

buckets poured out. 

{i was informed that posing with your arm like so reduces arm girth. who knew? now I do, ha}

FUN

many of you remember the VBS Kev and I hosted at our house this summer for the neighbor kids (here)

well, our life group didn't want it to just end with that, there was a hunger to be in deeper waters with these kids. to know them by name and see them regularly. 

so we prayed and felt God calling us to continue hosting mini-vbs's once a month

an hour before we met for life group. 

and last night it happened. 

and it was magic. 

as usual it was ghetto and last minute 

{but isn't that the way of the spirit?}

and we were making up hand motions to kiddie songs we found on a cd laying around our house-

songs that we didn't know the words too but learned fast

 (at least there is something good about repetitive lyrics!)

we told the story of the good samaritan by an impromptu skit,

and broke into small groups and had the kids discuss ways they could encourage those around them. 

and then of course we played games, because what is EVER complete without games? 

i'll let the pictures speak for themselves...

but again, the beauty in being poured out for the KINGDOM

is far far more exhilarating than any bucket list item we could ever dream up. 

so here's to creating a NEW KIND OF BUCKET LIST! 

one in which you are thankful for the buckets He's filled

and ready to pour out His blessing upon others. 

happy happy labor day weekend friends:) 

here's to pouring it out...

love Katie 

stepping out diaries- on being the church

{to see the start of the stepping out series, click here}

last night, running out of Costco to my car,

i saw them. 

a little ragged, toting a backpack the size of texas

they caught my eye

"excuse me, my wife and I are trying to get enough money to eat dinner at costco, do you have anything?"

hands full of groceries and no cart,  i asked if they'd walk to my car with me and then i'd check

no bills, no coins. i'm not much of a cash carrier. 

"can I buy you guys dinner at Costco?" i asked. 

heads nodding, we proceeded to the line. 

"cash only" the sign flashed big.

darn it. 

we looked around and saw a Chik-fil-A in the distance

so we began to walk,

and stories began to roll off the tongue. 

their names were randy and laurie,

and they were extremely lovely. 

they had been married 10 years

lost their jobs, and their house

and were living at a hotel across the street. 

we got to Chik-fil-A and ordered. 

while in line, they asked "why? why are you spending time with us?"

my jesus, was my reply, it was all i felt was true and real.  

my sweet jesus was absolutely and utterly smitten with this couple

and i was rapidly falling in love their kindness and joy even in the midst of such hard circumstances. 

hearing their savior's name, randy spent the next 15 minutes sharing the most incredible stories with me about ways God has provided for them in the nick of time, just when they needed to pay rent. like one time they were so discouraged and sitting on a curb in the target parking lot, and this woman just made a bee-line towards them and gave them $100 and said "i don't know why I came to target, but I don't need anything here and I thought maybe you could use this.". 

my heart dripped encouragement. 

these were people of deep faith, i stood humbled in their presence

dependency on the lord was REAL for them

they quoted matt 6:25

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear." 

truly, i was in awe. 

i drove them back to the hotel they called home. 

more stories of abba's faithfulness 

as we got out of the car,

 i had this overwhelming sense that God wanted me to pay their rent for the week

so i walked into the office and did just that. 

when randy overheard me telling the woman at the counter what I was doing

tears brimmed his humble green eyes

and then tears began to well in my own

because i had this absolute awe moment where Abba was giving me a chance to be the church

the church that shares everything

that takes care of each other in times of need

because isn't that the body? 

the body who says, "you're in need and I have some so I'll share"

and when i'm in need, the body says "you're in need, and I have so so i'll share"

chills ran through my entire frame

randy cried

and I cried

and when randy ran out the door and told laurie

she cried too, the hand holding her chik-fil-a milkshake trembling

and there we stood, in the hallows of a dilapidated hotel,

randy, me and laurie

the church

we held hands and thanked abba

for giving me a chance to be a part of such a special moment

for giving me the chance to meet children of HIS that depended on HIM for everything

real.life.faith.

and i got to witness it. 

firsthand. 

driving home, a smile spread wide across my dimpled face

heavenly tears rolling down my face

i called kev and told him everything

he was so excited he couldn't contain it

we praised God for this opportunity to bless others. 

as i approached home, my cell phone chimed a text

"you truly are a god-send! thank you so much, we are still in a state of disbelief! Hope we are able to see you again soon!"

and see them again soon we will. 

kev and i hope to have them over for dinner in the near future! 

and isn't it amazing that we can play a part in God's great plan when we step out and are open? 

who are we do judge others in their situations? 

we aren't

but we are to love

and i can tell you it's the greatest

have a GREAT weekend

my sister in law is getting married on saturday so it shall be a grand weekend! 

much love,

katie 

Africa part 3: and then it became our story

Part 1, Part 2

  the beauty of this Africa story 

is that it is not just my story, or your story, 

it is our story

i spend my work days speaking at schools and churches and clubs

weaving stories of girls in DR Congo like Ischara, who at 14 years old had to make some pretty heartbreaking decisions, but decisions that ultimately that led her to the ELI school in the slum of Bukavu where she gained a new family, a new school, and a new hope.. 

just last week a vacation bible school here in southern california raised almost $3,000 to help empower these children in a slum through learning and discipleship. 

together, life is altered.

 the most epic of stories are those embroidered in the power of community. 

where we love through sacrifice. and welcome with hearts open.

Africa Hope Shirts...

and so sweet dearest friends, I want to share a way we can live this story together. Many of you asked if I am still selling Africa Hope shirts...the answer is no and yes at the same time.

 No, I no longer keep my website running. In the span of those 4 years I ran Africa Hope, I lived in a slew of countries, fell in love, got married, and started living in a community where my time became precious as I gave it to be present with my neighbors. To run a burgeoning business on the "side" was too overwhelming. It pained me to stop selling shirts and supporting so many incredible non-profits doing amazing work in Africa.
But in the end, to be with Christ and with people is ultimate gain.

However, I still have a lot of Africa Hope shirts left.
As I prayed about what to do with them, this is the idea I received...

I shared in my last post, Africa Part 2, that I work for Empowering Lives International. In the last year, ELI has asked me to raise 100% of my salary. Yikes, scary, right? But, as I gave this daunting challenge to the Lord, I felt so empowered that the Abba truly would provide for me. I believe in the work I am a part of, both in Africa but also the ministry Kev and I feel God uniquely placed us in here in our hometown. 

So...here is where the YES comes in with Africa Hope. Below you will see a picture of all the Africa Hope shirts I am selling. If you are interested in purchasing one (and of course there is NO pressure!), 100% the money from your purchase will go towards supporting me in what I do in Africa.

If you would like to purchase a shirt, here is what you can do:

email me at: hopeengaged@gmail.com with the subject Africa Hope

tell me what shirt you would like in what size you normally wear (the shirts run a bit small so if you tell me what you normally wear I can figure out what size you'll need!)
tell me if you like to wear your shirts fitting or loose

give me your address of where to send it

and I will let you know where to send a check! 

I'm selling them for $20, and then $3 added for shipping

But the OTHER exciting part to this, is I would LOVE to give one away to one of you sweet ladies!
If you would like to enter the give-a-way...here's what you can do: 

1) Be a follower of Hope Engaged

2) Leave a comment, including your email address and shirt style you like best

that's it! 

Kev and I will do a drawing, and pick the winner, and then email you and send your shirt right out!

women's shirts:

            

            

 

            

 

           

 

men's shirts:

              

         

thank you for being a part of MY story and making it OUR story. 

i am forever grateful for friends like you:) 

happy day sweet friends! 

love katie

ps- we are NOT models, so have some grace, haha!

to love, and love deep

Hello dear ones! Kevin and I are home from the UK, wearied travelers bursting with smiles and much gratitude for a comfy and familiar bed!

The most wonderful thing about being married to your best friend is that even after 19 days of being with each other EVERY day, ALL day, we looked at each other yesterday morning on our way to work, and both uttered "i'm going to miss you so much". 

love that man.

I can guarantee that the next few weeks/months my little space in this world will be filled with an abundance of images from our glorious passage into shades of the red white and blue Union jack. However, today I wanted to share a glimpse into what my soul is learning about life and love.

As a standard, vacations are filled with time, and time gives rise to copious chapters of thinking in one’s brain. Pages chalked full with memories, ink spilling emotions of love, hurt, joy, pain, beauty and despair.

 And hope.

I sit in a coffee shop in Scotland, and I stall on a page filled with joyous occasions, where memories bring flight to my heart and I feel free remembering the soul’s rest in that moment. And in the same vein, I wait patiently on a London subway, and the words on the page are not so nice, memories of hard times, of deep despair and confusion. I work to push them away, afraid of the pain that sometimes suffocates and pushes love away.

But no.

Love should never be pushed away. 

No matter the pain.
Love should reign, because HE reigns.

Henri’s poignant reminder that love is and should always be the trump card…..

"Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds…Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear."

So break the ground Lord. 

Till it with hands sweet,
So that fruit will rise 

and in great strength,

 choose love,
time, and time again. 

despite the brokenness, let's trump all with love today,

shall we? 

love Katie

love...that tall and tough order

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

kevin read this to me during his EPIC proposal

we had this passage read at our wedding in different languages

i'm still in the process of trying to paint it on the wall above our bed

i even made a lovely valentines post with this verse to our engagement pics

but newsflash people, TRUE love is hard

it's not all flowers and sunspots like my pictures reflect

and i'm not talking hard as in loving mr. tall dark and handsome. no, he's easy. i swoon over this man.

i'm talking hard as in we're just plain bad at this kind of love in our daily lives to all the randos or not so random people we come into contact with. 

 i've had that epiphany many times, but honestly a few days ago in the bathroom of all places, when i was meditating on that verse, i almost laughed out loud at how bad i am at some all of these aspects of love. 

here's the rundown.

Love never gives up. 

Love cares more for others than for self. 

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. 

Love doesn't strut, 

Doesn't have a swelled head, 

Doesn't force itself on others, 

Isn't always "me first," 

Doesn't fly off the handle

 Doesn't keep score of the sins of others

 Doesn't revel when others grovel

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth

Puts up with anything

Trusts God always

Always looks for the best

Never looks back

But keeps going to the end.

if there was a harder list to follow, i haven't found it (well...Leviticus is a close second, but thank God those rule are out-dated). 

i find myself so convicted. how often do i put myself first? i mean honestly, ask yourself when you haven't put "me first". 

how often do i realize that by being thankful for what i have and not coveting others is a form of true love? no wonder we can be such a miserable race...we buy all this crap in hopes that it will make us happy, but TRULY what gives life is being thankful for what God has already provided. 

love looks for the best. i'll admit, i'm not always looking for the best in others. sometimes i find myself so annoyed by the actions of those around me, that i don't chose to love them by seeking the treasures of who they are. and then it's me who misses out on a love opportunity. 

i love that our savior was a washer of dirty feet. 

a savior that was nailed to wood for us. 

everything about him shouted "you before me" 

let's live LOVE today and shout "YOU BEFORE ME" 

and currently, maybe your world is not all rainbows and smiley faces...

 but HOPE rises in the form of love. and love comes in living unselfishly with MUCH much gratitude. 

so let's sow some seeds of love today, starting with thanksgiving and working our way down this list! because love, true love, are these hard but glorious truths!  

much LOVE,

Katie

found in the aftermath

This morning one expectant girl lit candles, cuddled in a blanket, and curled up to listen to the new Hillsong CD called Aftermath.

And I am not the same.

Expectant I came to my time with our sweet Savior. Expectant of being moved, of hearing His voice, of being wrapped in His arms. And while I don't always feel or hear or engage in such profound ways, today God spoke, and I listened.

First of all, if you can find the song on itunes or youtube, do it. It's called Aftermath (same as the title of their CD) Listening to it as you read the lyrics will only draw you deeper into the incredible weight of the message....

The skies lay low where You are

On the earth You rest Your feet

Yet the hands that cradle the stars
Are the hands that bled for me

In a moment of glorious surrender
You were broken for all the world to see
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

Freedom found in Your scars
In Your grace my life redeemed
For You chose to take the sinner's crown
As You placed Your crown on me

In that moment of glorious surrender
Was the moment You broke the chains in me
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

And in that moment You opened up the heavens
To the broken the beggar and the thief
Lifted out of the wreckage
I find HOPE in the aftermath

And I know that You're with me
Yes I know that You're with me here
And I know Your love will light the way

Now all I have I count it all as loss
But to know You and to carry the cross
Knowing I'm found
In the light of the aftermath

I'm sure we can all relate to coming out of a storm, raw and ragged after enduring the pain. I love how the re-occuring line is that we are FOUND in the aftermath.

Do you see how it builds?

First we are solely found by the Lord, as it says "I am FOUND in the aftermath". He sees us in our pain, and he holds us in his hands. There is still pain, but we are found. Despite whatever the "aftermath" may mean in our lives, Jesus was "broken for all the world to see" and we are "lifted out of the ashes".

Then it says "I find HOPE in the aftermath". Instead of just being found, we now cling to the promise of newness. We understand as the lyrics say that "In the moment of glorious surrender, was the moment YOU broke the chains for me". I know in situations of great pain, I struggle to understand that not only am I found, but that the chains of bondage to the hurt can truly be BROKEN. And that is HOPE, the idea that whatever weight is holding us, Jesus CAN break those. So pray boldly today that chains can and will be broken!

Then lastly, and I LOVE this...it says "I'm FOUND in the LIGHT of the aftermath". Not only are we FOUND, but we gain HOPE, and then finally we walk in the LIGHT.

We walk in FREEDOM. We SHINE in His LIGHT.

I don't know what the aftermath may mean for you, or someone you love, but HOPE prevails because "I know that you are with me, I know that you are with me, and I know your LOVE with light the way"

Happy February!

Love Katie