don't kill your joy. don't. {thankful thursday}

my dearest handsomest better half has left me for 2 weeks to journey to Nepal. watching him walk through security and disappear from my view left me with an ache, but more, really, filled me with great joy. kevin will be joining a movement of believers in the rural lowlands of Nepal, where the gospel has spread like wildfire, hindu strongholds falling to the power of the holy spirit. amen and amen. he will be speaking at a pastors conference, encouraging the believers in their faith, as well as engaging with many local people with the truth of jesus. sweet sweet jesus who comes to bring freedom and set the captives free. 

so if you think of it, pray for him. 

gracias. 

better yet,

dhanyabaad.

but of course he's not far from the reaches of my mind. actually he's quite on my mind almost every second. 

tonight as I was reading "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp,

i was absolutely struck by the idea that 

we can kill our own joy.

say whhaaatttt? 

ya, you heard me,

we often have a hand in crushing the joy in our lives. 

yikes! how? 

remember when we were children? and the very simple evoked great delight?

playing house, swimming in the pool, eating a soft preztel?  

{or maybe I got waaaayyyyy too excited about soft preztels?}

and then all of a sudden we began to forsake the small lovelies, and expect something greater? 

I expect so and so to act this way around me and support me in this way. 

I expect to be married by the time i'm this age. 

I expect to be healthy and happy all the time. 

we all do it. admit it. 

ann says, 

"expectations kill relationships" 

with others and with Abba. 

{PREACH IT ANN! } 

and when those expectations unravel, and the opposite is true, 

we are frustrated at best, hurt and resentful at worst. 

unfortunately i've hurt many i've loved with this horrible-expectation-filled way of living. 

i've held them to a standard unbeknownst to them, and when they don't live up to it,

i unravel. 

{and I think they're crazy for not being able to read my mind! come on people!}

but i'm learning that the best way to live life is EMPTY. 

empty of expectation. 

because if we are not expecting it to be a certain way

then we'll be thrilled at the outcome. 

i'm convinced it's the reason why kevin seems to love every meal i make

{cause i can guarantee you there's been some strange ones!} 

CS Lewis said he was "surprised by joy".

Perhaps there is no way to discover joy but as a surprise?" 

There is another name for those that live empty and joy-filled. 

it's called humble. 

"The humble live surprised. The humble live by joy" 

JOY comes when thankfulness for the gift abounds. 

and thankfulness lingers close when we aren't expecting the world to give us what we think we deserve. 

because isn't that what expectations are? 

our rightful allowance? what we DESERVE from others and from God? 

ick. 

pride is destructive, and will sap our joy faster than you can say "entitled".  

speaking of entitlement, 

that beast leaves no room for joy. 

invite him over and he's the black plague that will continue to kill and fester forever,

and make you think you're the queen of sheba!  

unless, 

unless we take steps to EMPTY our expectations and entitlement,

and pray that Abba cleans house,

and begins to foster a heart that is humble. 

if you're lacking a sense of JOY,

and need a miracle. 

began to be thankful for the small lovelies around you,

and pray that God siphons off the blackened mess of expectations and entitlement. 

it's a pain-filled process,

but in the end will reap a life that lives

FULL. 

and JOY-FILLED. 

and who wouldn't want that? 

{and lastly, my own infomercial here....

truly this process has been critical in my own life for living JOY filled!} 

much love,

katie 

Allison @ A nestful of love

Tara@ A Brew of Blessings

Kristen @   Love Done  Simply 

Emily @ Meme & He

what's your story, morning glory? {thankful thursday}

{never mind my flatty flat flat hat hair while in england!}

still pluggin through Ann Voskamps 1000 gifts. 

and by plugging i really mean chug-a-luggin. 

this book is meeeaaaatttttyyyyy stuff! 

so meaty in fact that this chapter hit me like a freight train. 

any guesses on the nature of this chapter?

mmmmhhhhmmmmm.....

suffering. 

yeah! 

not. 

i hate that word, and even further I hate suffering. 

i hate to suffer

and i hate that others suffer. 

and as a side note it brings me back to high school, and let's be honest...

not.my.favorite.time. 

ok, now that we've got that out of the way, back to regular scheduled programing. 

suffering brings about

the perpetual "why"

which lingers on unanswered. 

fingers pointing at God. 

giving him my puppy dog eyes and wondering how he can watch me cry another day

and not DO something {or at least what I want him to do!}

those are the memories i long to forget. 

and it makes me think God's not really fair. 

hmmfffff, i mutter under my breathe! 

but.

suffering is a part of my story. 

{as much as i can pretend high school didn't happen. sadly, it did}

it will always be a part of my story. 

as much as i want to block out those nasty times, 

the good Lord has woven them into my life. 

so why? 

here is what is beginning to redeem suffering. 

well, jesus, for starters. 

he's the redeemer. 

but the idea that life is a movement from darkness to morning glory. 

from the beginning of time, the Lord spoke order into chaos,

light into darkness. 

it's a movement. 

as in something happens to produce something else. 

and in this case something is suffering

and grace is what's produced. 

Ann says 

"the ugly can be beautiful. the dark can give birth to life; suffering can deliver grace" 

"suffering nourishes grace" 

Like a surgeon cutting open a wound in order to best repair it,

"God chooses to cut into my ungrateful heart to make me whole" 

"all is grace only because all can transfigure" 

amen! hallelujah! 

did ya'll hear that?!?

God uses suffering to transfigure our lives into streams of flowing grace. 

more graceful living.

more graceful hearts. 

and then i'm ok with that. 

it makes me happy that my life can transfigure.

can change into something more beautiful. 

and gives me hope and reason that my wounds were not in vain. 

but really, i should have known all along that our Abba does nothing in vain. 

he has a purpose. 

to think otherwise is folly. 

he knows. 

and newsflash....

he knows everything.

{forget that "elf on the shelf" business, God's the real deal!}

every tear, every wound, every pain. 

and he's got this. 

and as he spoke LIGHT to the world to form it

so he takes the ugly and broken and dark places of our soul,

and fashions them into something quite stunning. 

and by stunning i mean grace.

because aren't graceful people the most beautiful? 

well worth the suffering? 

i think so:) 

happy Thursday dear ones! 

love Katie 

and ps- just for laughs i tottaaaaallllyyyyy wish you could see me right now. it's midnight, i'm in a bathroom stuffing my face with pepitos, and sitting in a chair in front of my fake first place thats blasting heat even though it's not cold outside at all! i'm quite the scene! ha! 

Emily from Meme & He

Tara from A Brew of Blessings

Allison from A Nestful of Love

Kristen from Love, Done Simply

time is life, and a new beginning for me

time.

i think about it a lot. 

how much time is filled and brimming busy with chaos

that i forget to

stop

enjoy and 

savor. 

it's like we're all running around in madness trying to stuff as many activities into our calendar,

and then we are so drained of energy that the busyness is not enjoyable but just distressing. 

Ann Voskamp says 

"hurry always makes us hurt...hurry empties our souls." 

so yes. I think a lot about this. which is why I had this epiphany last year that I wanted to be Amish, and it was my goal. 

but guess what? 

I didn't raise any barns and I didn't make any Amish friendship bread or wear a bonnet. 

but slowly, ever slowly, i made changes to soak in time. 

Kev and I made a vow that our home would be filled with relationships. 

we got rid of tv, iphones, ipads

because we wanted all attention on our guests, not on a distraction. 

so as I read chapter 4 of "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp, I was steadily reminded that time is life. She says

"They say time is money, but that' not true. 

Time is life.

and if i want the fullest life, i need to find fullest time" 

this past year I was overcome with a yearning, almost aching

to be more present. 

especially in my neighborhood. 

I had kids texting me all the time to hang out, and as our busy scheduled filled,

i constantly was trying to cram small spaces to deepen my relationships with these precious kids. 

clearly, very cleary

i felt Abba calling me to consider leaving my job at Empowering Lives International. 

leave? i love my job.

I get to mobilize people here in the US about what God is doing in Africa! 

I get to hear stories of transformation daily! 

but then it became so evident. 

as i looked out into the wounds and pain of my neighborhood

i saw that the gospel must take root, alive and active. 

the good news that FREEDOM is available for all. 

that Abba calls his people out of darkness and into light.

it hit me like a ton of bricks that I wouldn't be true to my calling if I didn't step out to be a messenger of this 

good 

news.

and not just to share it once and run away,

 but to live it alongside these friends i love. 

because discipleship isn't just a one time deal.

it's TIME. 

it's daily walking,

surrendering,

and battling together. 

so friends, i quit my job. 

as of december 31st, i will not longer have a desk job

but a love job. 

as in i get to love as jesus loved, 

and roamed 

and told stories 

and cried

and struggled

and celebrated when those who were lost became found. 

i'm not sure if kev and i will have enough money. 

but i'm realizing this. 

time isn't money. 

time is life.

and the only way to live it is soaked in thankfulness 

when i am thank-full

i am time-full. 

pray for me dearest friends.

i'm scared

and pretty unqualified,

but when we are called to create time for others,

we are called in the right direction. 

i am sure of it. 

because jesus was. 

enjoy your weekend! 

love Katie 

Emily from Meme & He
Tara from A Brew of Blessings
Allison from A Nestful of Love
Kristen from Love, Done Simply

thankful thursday {on Sunday, whoops!}

"Thanks is what multiplies the JOY and makes any life LARGE, and I hunger for it"

- Ann Voskamp

this thanksgiving has been utterly beautiful.

a true miracle.

on the Sunday before thanksgiving, my life group hosted a thanksgiving dinner at my house as a love feast for all of our neighbors. Kev and I made these really awesome lame flyers with a turkey on them, inviting all our beloved friends to come and party with us to give THANKS.

and party we did {which is my opinion is worship to the Lord!}

35 people stuffed into our sweet home,

from all different backgrounds,

lifting up hands in praise to say thank you.

of course we ate delicious food,

and talked and laughed till our bellies hurt.

{and, as an epic side-note,  Kev and I made our first turkey!! whoop whoop!}

but then something rather magical happened.

i told kevin i wanted to have a time of sharing, where anyone who wanted to could say what they were thankful for this past year.

in all honestly, i thought about 3 people would share {more out of obligation from me giving them the death glare, than wanting to!}

but the holy spirit just stepped in,

and i kid you not, EVERYONE shared.

lovely hopeful chills ran down my spine, and i felt so alive to be there,

with all those people, in the midst of a holy fog of eucharisteo surrounding us.

JT was thankful for "balls, because they are bouncy"

and izze was thankful for "jame's mustache"

and I was thankful for my "handsome husband"

it was like we were lifting heavenly voices up

to the gift giver

in thanksgiving.

and i was stuck in a moment  that i'll never forget.

and when the last guests left at almost midnight,

kevin and i crawled in bed,

smiles wide,

overwhelmed with a good tired

that comes when you've spent all you've had

for the kingdom.

yes, I am thankful for Gratitude.

it warmed my home that evening.

it multiplied our JOY

and made our life LARGE.

Happy Thanksgiving!

love Katie  

 

 

Emily from Meme & He
Tara from A Brew of Blessings
Allison from A Nestful of Love
Kristen from Love, Done Simply

from empty to full, our true salvation

that person that said good things in life never come easy,

well.

newsflash. 

they were right. 

do you ever wonder 

"if i'm saved, then why i am sad?"

like there's this perpetual state of wired happiness that should be achieved 

because you're a christian

but you just can't seem to get there? 

and then start wondering 

"what does salvation mean if i still feel miserably lost?"

don't worry, me too. 

for so long i just considered salvation a one time deal.

prayed the prayer. boom. done. heaven bound. 

i never gave thought to the fact that once sealed with God's spirit,

I can still learn to live more fully alive

in Abba's sweet saving grace! 

so here's the thing i'm learning. 

Jesus SAVED me. 

He SAVED you. 

Abba has redeemed us,

but the crux of living into the life Jesus has for us

begins with a journey of working out our salvation

so that it is fully

EXPRESSED

 and 

ALIVE 

in our lives

so what's the key to living a fuller, deeper expression of salvation? 

well, i'm not a creepy preacher with a 5 step plan for happiness, 

but I am a girl who has been inspired by Ann Voskamp and her words which have so poignantly touched the depths of my weary soul...

so here it is, the beginning step of living into our true salvation,

via Ann.   

"Eucharisteo

charis: grace

eucharisteo: thanksgiving

chara: joy

the greek word with the hard meaning and the harder meaning to live- 

this is the only way from empty to full. 

we only enter the the full of life if our faith gives thanks

thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives.

Thanksgiving is the manifestation of our YES to His grace.

Thanksgiving is inherent to a true salvation experience; 

thanksgiving is necessary to live 

well,

whole

fullest

LIFE. 

Our salvation in Christ is real, yet the completeness of that salvation is not fully realized in a life until the life realizes the need to give thanks.

I would never experience the fullness of my salvation until

 I expressed the fullness of my thanks every day,

and eucharisteo is elemental to living the saved life."  

In the end, Ann is just like you and me. 

she writes

"...I wasn't taking everything in my life and returning to Jesus, 

falling at His feet and thanking Him....

this is why I sat all those years in church but my soul holes had never fully healed." 

are you living with holes in your soul? 

then here is what we do to knit those holes healed. 

we give thanks. 

now. 

we fall on our knees and cry thanksgiving to the one who 

truly gave it All for us. 

Salvation becomes more beautiful and fully realized,

when it's covered

saturated

blossoming

and soaked

with

eurcharisteo. 

lets

you and i

give thanks

and take a baby step towards the fuller realization of our salvation today. 

This week, I am thankful for:
- my sweet friend and her newest most precious baby boy benji
- gluten and dairy free apple crisp
- reading in bed with my husband, stories of incredible jesus followers in the muslim world
- the gorgeous sky on my drive home last night
- new and old girlfriends
-laughing SO hard my face hurts!
- my parents putting me on speaker at the airport and laughing and giggle with them before they left for italy
- my fake fireplace to snuggle in front of!! 

much love,

Katie 

ps- for more Thankful Thursday posts, check out 

Allison from A Nest Full of Love

Emily from Meme & He

Tara from A Brew of Blessings

Kristen from Love, Done Simply

thankful thursday

happy sweet thursday friends! 

it's november...and you know what that means? 

Thanksgiving! 

but who are we kidding here, 

is one month really the only time to live washed in the sacred practice of offering thanks? 

sadly I recoil at my tendency to block intentional gratitude off to one month a year. 

for 

i am slowly learning that the act of giving thanks

is also the act of freeing our spirit-

letting loose my selfishness which screams ME

and learning to soak in the gifts of the Father which are set apart for HIS glory. 

and so begins my journey back into Ann Voskamps 1000 gifts. 

i read this manifesto a few years ago, but am venturing back into this goodness with a few sweet lovely blogging friends....

Allison - A Nestful of Love, 

Emily - Meme-and-He

Kristen - Love Done Simply 

Tara- A Brew of Blessings

"thankful thursday" seemed appropriate to call it. 

and you are absolutely invited in to share this journey with us! 

you know what hit me as I dove in? 

this. 

that from the beginning 

{and i'm talking Garden of Eden beginning}

satan has been using the same old lie on us...

"God isn't good" 

ann says "it's the cornerstone of [satan's] movement. That God withholds good from His children, that God does not genuinely, fully, love us."

yuck. 

yuck because i've fallen for that darn lie.

over.

and over.

and over again. 

i just keep reliving that "garden story" 

which is utter ingratitude and mistrust. 

our fall, my fall, "has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives"

double yuck. 

but the first step is realizing that this particular ugliness is festering. 

to be conscious that it's seeping in and infiltrating our mind and heart. 

because it's pretty easy to sometimes allow that lie to take over our thinking,

which makes us pathetically entitled to things we're sure God owes us! 

{and i speak from personal experience, sadly}

but this season i want to press in to the TRUTH. 

the TRUTH that says 

God is LOVE.

the TRUTH that says

I can live FREE and AT PEACE 

in HIS presence. 

ALL wrapped in Thanksgiving! 

but I can't do that seeped in discontentment. 

and so Ann sets the stage for chapter 2. 

how in the world does one move from mistrust in God's goodness

to a life of refreshing praise? 

because i want that, i desire that. 

and so the story continues to unfold as we read for next week:) 

and as an addition each week I want to share a few things i'm thankful for: 

- an absolutely amazing sister bonding trip to germany and greece with my sister (and that I didn't kill us driving the rental car! Like really, that is a PRAISE!) 

- an incredible Life Group to live out the gospel with

- a sweet hubby that makes me laugh and encourages my soul

- Salad, sweet potatoes, and baked brussel sprouts, yum!! 

- the most adorable neighbor kids who draw us pictures and ring our doorbell every day. 

what are YOU thankful for today? 

love Katie