Half a year with our little bean

Sunday, October 8

My entire life i've said things like "when I have kids..." or "when i'm a mom...".

And now i've been a mom for 6 months. My heart overflows with thankfulness at the sacredness of this calling. Motherhood is beautiful. Not easy, but more than lovely.

Tonight as I nursed and rocked her to sleep, I sat there in absolute awe at the gift my daughter is to me. My whole life I knew I wanted to be a mother, and so to be there, in that moment, in the dark as I held her tightly, felt like a dream.

I am a mother. What a privilege.

Sally Clarkson, one of my favorite authors wrote,

"Jesus whispered...this child, whom I created, has special significance to me. Will you take this child for My sake and show her the touch of the love of God, whisper the messages and truth of scripture, teach her to have the character of Christ in living and serving with integrity, and show her how to give her life to a world that is longing for redemption? Will you raise this precious gift I have given you for Me, as an act of worship"

YES! Yes Lord, I say. I so want to raise Avonlea as an act of worship to my King.

It involves sacrifice of myself in every aspect:time, money, patience, love....and on and on.

And sacrifice is so scary, it means giving of myself, even when I don't want to.

But oh...how worth it to allow God to use my one life to bring life to my children!

May Avie girl feel Christ's loving touch as I bathe her, and change her diapers, and play with her, and snuggle her, and feed her in the middle of the night.

May she hear truth sung and shared and talked about in our home...truth about her VALUE and WORTH, truth about God's love for her, truth about our love for her.

May she learn how to be a torch of hope as she loves and serves and brings light to those around her. This...this epic task, I get to be a part of.

So with trembling hands I pray that God would be ever working and flowing in me.

May I decrease so that He can increase.