Grieving

Thursday, October 24

{my favorite are Everett's chubby toes, so delicious| 

Happy Fall sweet friends:) I always love this season...right now in my hometown in Northern California the trees are bursting in beautiful hues of red, orange and yellow. It takes my breath away and reminds me of God's incredible creativity.

But I will open my heart today and say I am grieving, and here's why...

Almost four years ago we moved back to my hometown, and quickly settled back in to the church I grew up in. The community literally welcomed use with open arms, dinner invitations and dates with friends were numerous. People really did pour love into us as we made the transition, and we were so blessed by the instant community we had. It was the church at it's finest...welcoming, hospitable, nourishing.

The last four years I have made this church my home.  I have been involved on the women's ministry team, spoke at the women's retreat, planned a handmade market (Fall craft fair) two years in a row, was the emcee at our huge Christmas tea, and was involved in both the moms group and Bible Studies. To say I loved my church was an understatement. Truly, I loved my church family.

And then this summer we got an email that changed our life.

The church was splitting.

The church I literally learned to walk in.
The church I was baptized in.
The church I was married in.

And suddenly there was a choice, do I go with the new church, or do I stay with the old.
Friends, it was heart wrenching.

This split made everyone choose.
Some friends have stayed, some friends have come with us, and some have completely switched gears and have gone somewhere new.

And all of a sudden I feel displaced. I feel disjointed. I feel sad.
I have really been wrestling with God on this one. As I was praying about it the other day, I heard the Lord speak to me some truth. He reminded me of a few things...

1) Transition is to be human- If you look at the life of so many characters in the Bible, you see that their life is unexpected and they are constantly transitioning. Joseph comes to mind, Noah, Adam...really everyone I can think of had drastic seasons in their life of change and hardship and things so out of their control happen to them. And God uses that. I think I wanted my church to be a constant rock in my life, because it was that. But nothing, I repeat nothing, can be a constant in our life except the Lord Jesus.

2) God can use multiplication for his glory- The new church we are a part of is going to be used by God, just as the church we left is going to be used by God. If churches didn't multiply, then we wouldn't be fulfilling the great commission.We may see a church split as negative, but God's economy is so much bigger and will use it all to bring people to him.

3) I can choose to jump in and serve my church, even if it's not the same OR I can pity my circumstance and stay stagnant. Yep, good point God.

Change is hard. Especially when the whole world feels like it's changing and church was a constant that felt safe and secure. But I'm realizing I have to trust God in the midst of this and choose to continue to advance his love and grace as I move forward. And God is big enough to handle my emotions. Grief is a complicated tangle of emotions and they are all OK! So I will continue to grieve, but I will also continue to look forward and rejoice in the work God has set before me:)

Have any of you been through a church split? Any words of wisdom for me and my feeble heart? xoxo 

Our sweet boy is here!

Monday, May 27









We are so excited to announce that our sweet Everett William is here! He made his entrance into the world on May 13th at 8:25pm and weighed in at 8 pounds and 12 oz.

He is now exactly two weeks old and we are so over the moon about him. I could literally stare at him all day, he is so precious and snuggly. Avonlea was a little indifferent to him the first few days, but now she thinks he is so funny with all the little sounds he makes, and is constantly saying "baby Everett is so cute!"...it's hilarious. The other day she was down on the floor next to him chatting his ear off, saying very helpful things like "I live here. I eat in that chair." We died laughing. I pray it's the beginning of a beautiful sibling relationship:)

I snapped these pictures a few days ago and had so much fun capturing his sweet little face! Hopefully if I have time I can write out my birth story, it was so special and SO opposite of Avonlea's, haha!!

Babies are a gift from the Lord, and i'm soaking this sweet boy in daily:)


Exciting News:)

Friday, January 25



We are so excited to announce we have a new babe coming in May:) This entire pregnancy has been different than my pregnancy with Avonlea, so all along I've felt like we are having a boy. And low and behold, when we had our 20 week ultrasound, we found out we are indeed having a sweet little boy. 

We are beyond excited to meet him come May 9th. I spent so much time praying and journaling during my pregnancy with Avonlea, but this time around I've had my hands full with a busy little toddler, so haven't had as much time thinking about this pregnancy. My goal this year is to spend intentional time praying over this little man, and asking God for verses to pray over him. 

Motherhood has been SO amazing, I have loved being Avonlea's mom and cannot wait to add another one to the mix! However, I am curious to see how two babes changes things. Anyone else feel a bigger shift from 1-2 kids as opposed to going from 0-1? I'd love to hear your feedback:) 

Hope you are all doing well:) Happy 2019!!