You GUYS...I DID IT!!!

Thursday, January 30

{Everett is cheering me on, hehe} 

Can I share a secret I've been waiting to tell???

After 6 years of lots of hard work and dedication,
tears and fears,
joy and elation...

I have completed my 3,000 Clinical hours needed to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California!!

The clouds have parted, the sun is feels SOOO good to type this out!

While I still need to take my licensing exam (JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL...I'm terrible at tests!)
to be done with this purgatory is like dew from heaven (am I being dramatic? noooo haha)

Let's back up so I can share this whole process and why it means so much that I'm done...

In 2013 Kevin and I moved to Nepal, which in itself was a miracle and answer to prayer. Kevin and I had asked the Lord to send us abroad before we had kids, and out of the blue, my home church paid for us to move to Nepal as consultants for an aftercare home for girls rescued out of trafficking and abuse.

The 6 months we spent in Kathmandu changed my life and the trajectory of my career. Upon moving to Nepal, I had spent the last 6 years working for various international non profits, but had an ache in my spirit for something more, something deeper. While in Nepal I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to go back and get my masters in counseling.

You guys, I was 29 and the thought of a total career change felt big.
But that's what happens when we let the spirit lead.
He moves, and we move, and we are changed.

So for two years, full time, I studied my little heart out. I pulled late nights writing papers, I cried with clients, I completed group projects, I worked as a graduate assistant, and was completely enmeshed in graduate school and seeing clients. Its as a lot of work.

And when I graduated, I still had a few thousand hours to complete...which, if I'm honest, was really daunting. The last four years have felt like I have carried a weight on me. I've been itching to move abroad and get on with my life, but every time I tallied my hours up...I still needed more.

And for a while there, I questioned God's calling on my life.

God, did you really call me to this?
It's too hard 

God, did I make the right choice?
I feel so weak and unqualified for the magnitude of this job 

God, did I completely miss your direction?
I can't handle the pain and brokenness I'm around each day, I'm too sensitive

And there was a hot minute there where I honestly wanted to quit, walk away.
Do something easier.

But God's gentle hand didn't let me.
I'd like to say I had a major revelation or that God spoke to me in a burning bush moment...
but no...
I wasn't given a huge banner with his directive
 platitudes to soften the intensity of counseling broken people

But I was given Jesus.
The suffering servant,
who's life, broken for me,
saved me.

And I remembered, "whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me" (Matt 25:40)
...every client I see is his precious one, and if I commit my work to the Lord, it is a fragrant offering to him. 

And I remembered, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13)
...if I can die to myself as a therapist and allow the Holy Spirit to flow, HOPE will be the outcome. 

I remembered that I too can use the crumbs God has given me to be broken for the world. 
and so I press on, whatever it holds.
However you use me Lord, I am yours for the taking.

3,000 hours,
multiple moves,
lots of trips,
and 2 babies later,
I did it.
God did it. 

Thank you for all the ways you've encouraged me, and thank you to Jesus for leading.
(and please pray for me as I study for my big test! It is a THING!!!)

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