There was a time...but hope

There was a time I looked in the mirror and despaired. I struggled with acne for so long and wondered how anybody would ever think I was beautiful. I wondered if I’d ever find a man I thought was Godly and handsome and kind and funny.

.hope.

There was a time when I was temporarily paralyzed, and then spent the next few years taking 9 painkillers a day just to walk in the morning and make it through the day, only to be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I wondered if I’d ever feel normal again...if I ever would run and play and be able to wear a swimsuit and not be allergic to the sun.

.hope.

There was a time when I felt deeply wounded by a best friend. The pain went deep and the unreciprocated relationship cut my heart out daily. I wondered if I would ever not flinch when her name came up or someone asked me about her.

.hope.

There was a time when a doctor looked me square in the eye and said "you have Lupus. You probably won't ever be able to get pregnant".

.hope.

There was a time when I believed the lie that I was “too much” and believed that others opinions about me mattered more than Gods opinion about me. I wondered if I’d ever get my life back...because “lost” is what happens when you put the control in others hands.

.hope

Oh dear sweet friend,
wherever you are,
whatever situation you face,
whatever has been said to you,
whatever lies you believe right now.

there is HOPE for something different.

right on the other side of where you are,
God sees a different picture.

When I felt ugly and despairing of finding my love....
God brought healing to my skin and a husband who loved me flaws and all.

When I was incredibly sick....
God brought me to a holistic doctor who nursed me back to thriving health.

When I was wounded by a friend....
God restored and redeemed our relationship into something beautiful.

When I was told "you'll never be able to get pregnant"...
God gifted me two precious children from my womb.

When I believed I was "too much"....
God freed my heart to joyously bask in HIS love as I live my life.

Oh dear one.
This is why, all those years ago, I called my blog hope engaged.

Hope...
it's what I cling to.
And when placed it Christ,
will not disappoint.


" and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Romans 5:5