A few hard weeks...

Monday, November 16

You may have noticed things have been a little radio silent over here the last few weeks. To be totally honest, the last few weeks have just been hard. And sometimes life is just hard.

Last week, late Wednesday night, I got a call that my sweet 90 year old grandpa, who is a huge part of my life, was taken to the emergency room. The doctors and nurses thought it was the end. I wept the whole car ride, the thought of losing such a patriarch and Godly man made me ache. I prayed that God would give me one last time to say goodbye, that my grandpa would hold on a little longer so I could hug him.

God was so unbelievably good and kind, and miracles beyond miracles, my grandpa is still alive. Kevin and I got to spend 4 days with my entire family (about 15 people) loving on my adorable gramps. He was making the nurses smile and laugh, and truly, it was so special. He is still alive, although still in the hospital, so please pray for him.

Aside from my grandpa, school is all-consuming, and I am just tired and done. 3 more weeks is all I have left, but it is rough. My best friend Emmy and I have such senioritis, we pretty much giggle deliriously through every.single.assignment., resigning ourselves to the fact that we honestly don't even have the energy to care any more. Ever been there? ha. But really, i'm ready to get my life back. To see my husband and family and friends. I feel like while school has given me SO much, it also was such a sacrifice and i'm ready to resume a more balanced routine.

And then of course there are just hard times in our world. My heart breaks over the tragic shootings and bombings in Paris, Lebanon, and other places around the world. Families are aching at losing their loved ones, and sometimes it all just feels so out of control. I've been trying to strike the balance of remaining informed, but not allowing myself to become washed over in pessimism. I'm trying to carve out the space to truly pray over these tragedies and give them to the Lord.

I loved this quote I saw by Mr. Rogers that said,

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world." 

In the midst of so much pain and ache and crisis, it is a beautiful thing to see that there are lovely, caring, and compassionate people in the world. People who seek goodness and justice and pursue love. In my own little world, I have been so blessed by the nurses that so kindly cared for my grandpa, a sweet mentor that came into my life this year and has prayed for me and encouraged me when times got hard, for so many of you readers who have commented so faithfully and encouraged my heart when I needed it most, to my best friends all around the world who have used their precious phone minutes to call me from abroad, to my sweet family and friends that cheer me on here. 

Who are the helpers in your life? 

Secondly, if any of you readers have prayer requests, I would love to pray for you. If any of you readers are in France or Lebanon or other hard hit places recently, know that I care about you and would love to hear your story and pray for you:)  You all can email me at hopeengaged@gmail.com (please don't be shy!). 

Life can be hard. But life also has it's beauty, even in the midst of the mess. Let's be helpers to those around us, sowing seeds of love and kindness and tender words. Let's come together in love and solidarity and pray and lift each other up! Many blessings to you all today:) love K. 

PS- Thank you ALL for giving me advice on what to wear in Europe for Christmas! You literally gave me SUCH good tips, and my fingers and toes thanks you in advance, hehe!!

PSS- If you have kids, The Mr. Roger's site had some really great advice on how to talk to your kids about tragedies and disasters here. 

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