You will not be "stuck" forever, God is still at work

Exactly 2 years ago, at one of my darkest moments in life, I wish somebody would have told me,

"YOU WILL NOT BE STUCK HERE FOREVER"

It truly was the perfect storm, the winds of anxiety and sleeplessness and pain (both emotional and physical) so strong I thought I'd never breech the torrent coming at me. Doomed to live in the eye of the whirling winds forever.

I was 30 weeks pregnant and a whole slew of issues, anxieties and commitments were weighing so heavily on me that it led to 3 full weeks of insomnia, where I could not sleep. 

You guys, it terrified me. 

I felt so out of touch with my body. The acute stress I felt was beyond my control. 

And I remember thinking, 

"will I be here forever?"

"Will I ever break free?"

"Will I always suffer silently and put on a happy face the rest of my days?" 

And the scary part was that I almost believed I was destined to live in that type of anxiety because I could not humanly conceive how to make it all better. 

Two years later, my situation runs a TOTAL 180. 

I am also 30 weeks pregnant, BUT

I feel a total peace

I have no pain

I feel light and free and full of possibilities. 

Isn't it crazy how in the midst of suffering, it feels like life will NEVER come around?

 Like we are drowning and we will never come up for air? 

Friends, THAT IS A LIE! 

God will not leave us where we are.

He says in his word in Phillippians 1:6 "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

He has good work for us to do, and He will not quit working on us. That means He will take us through seasons, some hard, some good, but all in keeping with HIS purpose of making us more like Christ. 

I don't even pretend to know the depth of how that experience sanctified me, but what I can tell you is that it taught me to trust that HE IS FAITHFUL, HE NEVER LEAVES ME, and...

I AM NEVER STUCK FOREVER

If you are waiting to get to the other side, HOLD ON FRIEND! 

You are never stuck when He, and HE ALONE, holds you in the palm of His hands! 

Praying for you today:) 

Baby #3 Gender Reveal

One of the most exciting parts of being pregnant is finding out the gender. More power to the people who can wait 40 weeks, but I am most definitely not one of them! From the minute I conceive I just WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M HAVING!!! haha! 

This pregnancy was very similar to Avonlea's. 

I.WAS.SICK. 

Every day, all day, for 18 weeks. 

While I threw up 16-20 times a day with Avonlea, this baby didn't quite make me throw up as much (which I was grateful for). But I also had the exact same cravings as my girl pregnancy...give me ALL the rice and beans from Sol (A Mexican restaurant in town!), and all the sweets and cold fruits! 

So naturally I guessed I was having a girl. I had felt very certain Avonlea was a girl, and in the same vein, I had felt very certain that Everett was a boy. And I was clearly right both times. So I trusted my instincts. 

Avonlea also was convinced she was having a sister. Every single time I asked her if the baby was a boy or girl, she flat out said "girl", never hesitated or ever said boy. 

So...by 19 weeks I had already planned my baby girl's nursery in my mind, Kevin and I had decided on a name we both loved, and we were kind of referring to the baby as a girl, especially around the kids (as Avonlea would only take girl/sister as an answer anyway!) 

Well...the day of our ultrasound came, and it was like Christmas morning to me. I was so excited:) The ultrasound tech was nice, but rather chatty, and was resolved to measure every single thing before telling us the gender (which I was kind of like JUST TELL ME NOW!!! but I refrained from that haha). After almost an hour, she casually said "what do you think the baby is?" to which I replied "girl" and then she matter of factly said "it's a boy". And then pretty much our ultrasound was done. 

Friends...I was SHOCKED. Like...what in the world?!?! I actually wanted to say, "wait...are you sure? Can you look again?". But even I could see the evidence on the ultrasound screen, haha! 

Soo.....It's a BOY!!!!

We really are so excited. 

But I won't lie. I don't think I realized how strong my expectations for a girl were. Like I said, it was all planned out in my mind. I didn't realize I had so many emotions about the gender, but my body just let loose and I actually cried in the car for 30 minutes before we went home. 

I think I wanted Avonlea to have a sister so bad. I have 2 sisters and love them dearly. Sisterhood is a sweet thing. And I was really nervous to tell her that she wasn't getting a sister. 

Fast forward to the gender reveal, and both my family and Kevin's family all poured themselves colored lemonade and berries (pink lemonade and strawberries for girl, and blue lemonade and blueberries for boy). 

The majority of people guessed girl, but a few people guessed boy! 

When we sprayed whip cream into the blueberries and everyone shouted "it's a boy", Avonlea was stunned, not sure what to make of the news. She looked at me with her big blue eyes and said "mama, it's a girl". And I had to tell her that it is going to be a baby brother. She ran to me, threw her arms around my neck and burst into tears. "I wanted a sister" she sobbed. It broke my heart, truly. 

But by the end of the party, she ran up to me, hugged me, and said "mama, I think it's a boy too". She kissed my face, and then ran off to play with all her cousins. 

As I've had time to process, God has given me and Avonlea both so much peace about adding a sweet boy to our family. She is so excited for her brother, and I am so excited to have another son. I've been comforted by the fact that God is the one who puts us in family's, He knows exactly the right family structure for us, and He is in control working out his will for God's glory! 

This sweet baby boy is for God's glory, and I am so honored and excited to carry him, birth him, raise him, and love him forever. 

So here's to another baby boy joining our family!! 

 

8 reasons why you should host an exchange student

Growing up, my parents hosted a slew of exchange students throughout the years! We had guys from Sweden, girls from Germany, and more recently our adorable Aline from Switzerland who came to live with us for a year (and she truly became family!).

Kevin and I have been wanting to host an exchange student, and we thought we'd test the waters by hosting 2 adorable junior high girls from China for 10 days. We just dropped them off yesterday, and man, it was a fun week!  It was hilarious, heart-warming, and exhausting all wrapped up in one experience- but i'm so glad we did it!

It got me thinking about why it's an experience everyone should try at some point in their life.
So here are 7 reasons why YOU should host an exchange student:

1) You learn about a new culture!: You don't even have to leave your home to experience and learn about a country and it's culture. Hosting an exchange student gives you the opportunity to ask questions and learn about traditions and customs through the eyes of a native. While playing games with the girls each day (let me tell you, they LOVED their games...never played Sequence that much in my life! ha), Kevin and I asked the girls questions about the 1 child policy in China, about what typical foods they ate each day, and the special occasions and holidays they celebrated.

2) You get to try new foods!: Almost all of our exchange students cooked a traditional meal for us at some point or another. I've eaten home-made Swedish meatballs from my cousins, and this past week ate home-made Chinese dumplings. Food is such an integral part of learning about someone's heritage and upbringing, and it's fun to experience that part of culture through your 5 senses!!

3) You always have a place to stay in their country!: We've visited almost all our exchange students through the years, most recently Aline and her family in Switzerland this past Christmas. Every time we visit Sweden, we are well taken care of! If you show hospitality to an exchange student, I can guarantee their family will be delighted to show hospitality to you when you come visit. It's pretty awesome!

4) You tend to explore your own backyard in greater detail!: When an exchange student comes to live with you, chances are you'll want to show them the "best" parts of your surrounding city and region. Whenever my parents hosted exchange students, we took a lot of fun trips to San Francisco, Disneyland and the beach. It became a great excuse to do something fun!

5) You get paid!: While not everyone cares about the money, it certainly  was helpful for us as new homeowners (who are juggling a mortgage) to have a little extra financial help! Some programs pay upwards of $800 a month to house and cook dinner for the student! If you already cook dinner for your family anyway, then it will be no problem to add one more person to the mix! {fyi- not all organizations pay, so if this is important to you, just make sure to check that our in the FAQ's}

6) You get to share YOUR culture!: So many people around the world are anxious to learn more about American culture. They often think what they see in the movies is so "American" and you get the great opportunity to share with them what the real American culture really looks like, haha! We had so much fun making the girls foods we eat on a daily basis (like tacos and pasta, etc), and showing them an American high school, etc. As a Christian, it's a great way to share your faith and your life journey:) Also it's fun to share traditions and holidays we celebrate. Often, they are fascinated by holidays that are distinctly American like Thanksgiving and 4th of July!

7) You come away with hilarious stories!: Hosting isn't always bells and roses, and sometimes things get lost in translation. But you have to admit, those are the best kinds of stories! This past week, our 2 little junior higher wanted to make us Chinese dumplings. They told us it would take 1 hour, and instead it took almost 4 {let's just say we were starving and a little stressed out wondering what the heck they were doing to our kitchen...there was flour everywhere! haha}! They finally admitted to us they had never made dumplings, and the four of us laughed so hard. Surprisingly, they turned out really delicious and we still chuckle when we think of that night, even though there were a few mishaps!

8) You build amazing friendships!: It's true, having someone live with you causes your relationships to deepen to a level that might never have happened otherwise. Our sweet Aline from Switzerland literally became like a sister to my siblings and I. She has flown out for all our weddings, and my whole family attended her wedding in Holland 3 years ago. It is such a gift to have this type of relationship with someone across the world!

If you are interested, just do a basic google search for organizations that work in your area! Or, start asking around town to see if anyone your friend's know hosts students. In our case, we heard of a women who hosted students, got her phone number and found out what organization she went through! If you love to travel, then I think you would also love to host exchange students!!

ps- we leave for Tahiti on Thursday!! woo hoo! I'm going to be hi-jacking Inspiration Cruises IG so make sure you follow along @inspirationcruises I would SO love to see your sweet comments and support:)

 {their t-shirts cracked me up! It was a bunch of English words strewn together that made absolutely NO sense, hahahah} 

When we want to jump ship on our calling, and why we shouldn't

Lately i've been feeling restless. It happens every few years or so…this deep gnawing on my heart for something new. Something exciting. Something fun. And for a good chunk of my twenties, I skipped from job to job, country to country, study abroad to internship…all in search of adventure and good fun.

In my late twenties, I felt called to counseling and started grad school. The entire duration of my masters program, it felt so right. Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, learning and doing the things I dreamed about. It was empowering and exciting…and I felt so called to this profession.

And now i'm out, in the work force, sitting with people in their brokenness…and it feels hard. 
At times it feels scary and overwhelming.
And the last week or so, i've even felt a bit fearful.

I've wondered…
"Did I hear God right?"
"Can I do this?"
"This is hard"

And to be honest, I've thought "maybe I should have just become a travel writer, or a full-time blogger, or something that involves travel"

And while none of those are bad careers in and of themselves, it brings me to a place where I have to examine my calling…my purpose in life.

And I go back to the drawing board each time…
that God has called me to a life of service.
Of standing with others in their pain,
supporting, encouraging and calling out hope.
A life apart from this kind of work doesn't feel complete to me.

And I am encouraged, that sometimes the hard places are where we are supposed to be. That we can allow the Holy Spirit to move in us. We may be fearful, but HE is ever so strong, and good, and mysterious and can work through us even when we fall so short. I suppose that's why we are called Vessels…we are just open to let God flow right through us and bring His Kingdom here on earth!

This morning, I picked up the latest copy of Relevant Magazine, and the editor Cameron Strang wrote an excellent piece called "Restless to Find your Calling". I was so so encouraged by it.

Here's an excerpt I found incredibly insightful,

"I read a report recently that said the average twenty something stays in a job, on average less than 18 months…..I mean, I get it- especially in your twenties you're still figuring out what you want to do. Sometimes you need to try out a job to see if it's the sort of work God is calling you to do or not. You're learning and growing professionally and as you grow God will open new doors for you. Your dreams are being clarifies and you're getting a clearer sense of how your calling and profession intersect.

But there's a flip side to that season if we're not careful- one that can lead to restlessness. Too much change can prevent healthy rootedness, and keep us in perpetually temporary seasons. If it isn't fun anymore, we'll just swipe left and move on.

But if God has you in a job for a certain season, couldn't it be that he has you there for a reason much deeper than just your income? What is the impact you're supposed to make there? What is God trying to teach you?

In jumping from job to job we can actually lose sight of the larger things God is doing in our lives."

I totally agree with Cameron…if we just look to the next best thing that is fun and exciting, we may loose out on an opportunity to go deeper with those around us who God may have put strategically in our life.

Kevin and I talk about the idea that if we were to just perpetually travel and never put down roots, we would miss out on getting to know our friends and neighbors in a deeper way. Sure, there is social media and Skype, but it isn't the same as sitting with a friend and holding her when she finds out a family member has died, or inviting people to church each week, or walking with a friend who is going through a tough time.

So i'm stepping out of fear, out of FOMO, and out of just wanting to escape pain (or sometimes monotony). I'm going to choose to step into my calling, even when it's hard, because it is in those challenging places that we meet and walk with Jesus in new ways as He leads us ever forth on the purpose He has for our lives:)

May you be encouraged that even if your 'calling' doesn't feel so glamorous or exciting, it is sacred and holy and God is using you in beautiful ways!! Happy Tuesday! 

Treasuring the things that matter- some cool stories of encouragement

It's easy to get discouraged in the world we live in. Life is hard, and as a therapist, I hear some pretty horrific stories that pull my heartstrings in ways unspoken. Everywhere I look, it seems like every part of our society seems to be falling apart. This morning in my quiet time, I was lamenting on the sadness and loneliness I see in people, and sometimes in myself. And God spoke to me something beautiful, an anthem that lifted my spirit…. 

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" Luke 12:34

It was so fresh to me today, so beautiful and pure, convicting where I was at. If my treasure is in wishing the world to be perfect, then my heart will always be disappointed. But if my treasure lies in Jesus and making his name known and His good news alive in my life to those around me, then my heart will be gloriously caught up in kingdom living that is meaningful and exciting. 

Jesus. It always comes back to Him. 

I've been learning lately about what it looks like to get out of the way of myself, and truly let the spirit live though me. You might say i'm leaning deeper into "walking with the spirit"(a Christiany phrase i've heard my whole life but was always a bit confused by). I'm slowly throwing off the yoke of "Katie's wants and desires" and making room for the spirit to lead, guide and stir up my complacency and comfort. And it's been crazy fun to see the spirit at work! 

I wanted to share a few stories from this past week. I don't share these at all to say "look at me", but instead "look at the Spirit" because He is wild and free and so so tender and compassionate to the world. 

Last week I was walking up to my neighborhood Trader Joes when I saw a homeless boy sitting outside with his dog. It was literally a million degrees, and I felt the spirit prompting me to say hello to the boy. I asked him if he was surviving the heat, and he said he was grateful for the shade. I went into TJ's, did my shopping, and before I checked out, grabbed a smoothie off the shelf to buy for the boy outside. When I went outside, I handed the boy the smoothie and we started chatting. He mentioned he was looking for a job, and said he had faith something would come up. Now, normally I probably would have wrapped up the conversation and headed on my merry way. But instead, I felt the spirit prompting me to ask if I could pray for me. He agreed, so I kneeled down beside him and prayed that God would provide for his every need. When I was done, he grabbed my hand, looked me straight in the eye and told me "the world needs more beautiful like you. You don't know what that means to me".  I walked away feeling so grateful for the spirit's work through me. I suppose sometimes we just need to get out of the way (put our self-conscious feelings aside!)

Secondly, every night at 10pm, Kevin and I pray for our neighbors. We figure, revival starts with prayer, and we can do that. So we pray for our neighbors. Last Saturday, I was yard saling and went to a street 2 blocks from our house. I started chatting with the couple, and somehow we got talking about church. They straight up told me they wanted to visit my church because they wanted to grow closer to Christ, as they were recovering alcoholics. So I got their number and they plan to attend church with us next week. It was so cool to see how God orchestrated that meeting!! 

Praying that I will continue to treasure the right things- eternal things like loving people and sharing the GOOD NEWS that truly is so so good. The world wants us to treasure all the wrong things (status, money, fame, popularity, etc) but it all leads to emptiness. So here's to treasuring what matters today! 

love you ladies!! 

Springtime round-up…what i'm loving!

This park, the one in these photos, is a 5 minute walk to my house. I honestly can't believe how gorgeous it is. I literally walk in the entrance, and i'm immediately transported into a beautiful fairyland. It was actually the scene for a very iconic and well known movie from the 1930's, and i'm surprised it hasn't been used more in films. I often imagine i'm going to stumble upon medieval knights on horseback or a damsel in distress…it just reminds me so much of being in England. Ivy on the trees, patches of wildflowers blooming here and there, and the ancient oak trees forming a magical canopy of leaves. Swoon:) 

Spring is lovely, and I daresay when i'm in it, it's my favorite season:) So many things blooming, new life budding out and creating a symphony of beauty. I'm actually in a season of newness right now, and am learning so much about my relationship with God. I hope to share in another post, but for now, wanted to let you in on a glimpse of some of my favorite spring things….

1) Beauty

100% pure is having a 50% off sale on all their nail polishes from May 11-15th!! Which means that the most amazing non-toxic nail polishes are only $6!!! I'm going to be stocking up for stocking stuffers at Christmas:) The color i'm loving at the moment is Velveteen! Use the code summer toes.
*and as a cool side-note, these nail polishes are "10-free" - free of formaldehyde, toluene, DBP, camphor, formaldehyde resin, xylene, parabens, fragrances, phthalates, and animal ingredients.

(Especially great for pregnant ladies who still want to paint their nails, but don't want to slather on any harsh chemicals!) 

2) Shows

I'm usually not a big tv watcher (I prefer books!) but Kevin has been gone a lot during spring work on the farm, so i've found myself with extra time to relax. I've gotten into 2 shows on Netflix, and no surprises here, they are both period pieces set in different centuries. The first one is When Calls the Heart. It was originally a book series turned into a Hallmark Hall of Fame mini-series, and it's cheesy as ever, but after a few episodes you kind of get hooked on the characters. Lori Laughlin (Aunt Becky on Full House) is one of the main characters, and I kind of love her! It takes places in the 1800's in a little pioneer town in Canada. It's charming and sweet and very family friendly which I love, and of course there are love stories:) 

The second show, Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, is a whodunit murder mystery show set in 1920's Australia. The costumes alone make me love this show, but after a few episodes you'll fall in love with Miss Fisher, who is adorable and brave. 

3) Stress Relief

Starting a new job has been wonderful, but at times I get overwhelmed. I've started taking a few drops of lavender essential oil and rubbing it on my neck. It's been amazing how it's totally calmed my body and lifted my mood! Not to mention, I've completely replaced every toxic cleaner in my house with home made items using essential oils that clean just as well and are super cost effective! If any of you are interested in the amazing benefits of essential oils, please contact me:) 

4) Food

Trader Joes has recently started carrying organic and gluten-free chia seed bars. And omg, they are amazing. I'll pop one in my purse to eat between seeing clients, and they are so yummy and tie me over until lunch. They use certified gluten-free oats and specify gluten free, so you can be sure no gluten is getting in!! Yum! 

5) Our House

I can't wait to share more of our little cottage with you! It's coming along, and is still a work in progress, but it's just darling and I feel so grateful God led us here. I'm going for a real English cottage look, and recently scored an incredible pine armoire off craigslist! It is an antique and was built 200 years ago in Europe and brought over to the USA. I smile every time I walk by it! If you're interested on our decorating style, you can check out my pinterest boards here!  Last night for mother's day we had my parents, siblings and aunt, uncle and cousin over and we ate delicious food and lingered for a few hours swapping stories and laughing a lot. It was good medicine for my soul:) 

6) Humor

I seriously love Jim Gaffigan. Kevin and I were giggling like children the other night listening to this one on hotel pools. How he comes up with this, I have no idea, but it's hilarious! If you haven't already listened, my other two favorites of his are on having 4 kids and seafood. Totally worth a listen!

7) Fashion

I'm loving flowy clothes in general these days. Loose shirts, skirts and dresses. You can see the dress i'm wearing in the pics here. It's so comfy, I love it!

8) Faith

Reading the book The Calvary Road (by Roy Hession), and it's changing my life. I told my mom this week that this might be one of the most influential books i've ever read. So simple, so profound, and yet so many parts about my faith being opened to me in a new way. I can't put it down, and have gone back and read and reread chapters. I can't wait to share more:)

Hope you are enjoying the last month of spring!! Happy Monday friends!!