solitude

photo of me by the lovely amanda estrada

"solitude begins with a time and place for God, and him alone.

If we really believe not only that God exists,

but that he is actively present in our live

-healing, teaching and guiding-

we need to set aside time and space

to give him our undivided attention"

-henri nouwen

 but where can I find this solitude I sometimes wonder?

i think of oxford, one of the most idyllic places i have travelled. 

i picture myself sitting on rolling green hills, the horizon dotted with streams and cottages. 

sheep baaing in the distance. 

but then i hear the garbage truck outside my window and my house literally shakes because my neighbor is a little too into his mariachi music, 

and i realize I won't always be in a thomas kinkade painting. 

in fact, most of the time we'll be in something closer resembling a circus.  

"go into your room" Jesus says "close your door and pray to your Father, who is unseen"

There is a meeting place-

a time and a place where we can meet with God and hear His thoughts and He can hear ours, 

a time for the two of us where He can have our full attention and we can have His.

Solitude is where we are least alone and where our deepest loneliness can be relieved. 

It's a healing place where God can repair the damage done by the noise and pressure of the world.

-david roper 

"The more you visit it," Thomas a kempis said "the more you will want to return. "

i really believe we can make a special meeting place with the Lord. 

to curl up and just be. 

since i'm all about free-ness, i found a free green chair on the side of the road 

and claimed it as my prayer chair. 

i light candles, make tea, and just sit. 

but no matter how you do it, do it. 

we must be desperate for solitude, 

because without it, 

we lose our ability to hear from the king.

sit at his feet. 

let him feed you.

that is the place to be. 

photo of me by the lovely amanda estrada

birthday love in newport beach

this past weekend Nate-dawg and Jenna surprised me for my birthday. 

{which is next Saturday, march 9th}

they took me and Kev on a boat cruise in Newport bay. 

it was a gloriously sunny day.

we sipped mimosas 

and laughed a lot. 

we talked and toasted one another

and just let the wind take us further and further into the bay. 

at one point i just looked around me

at the beauty of the sail boats passing by,

and the paddle boarders and kayakers,

and just soaked in the peacefulness of the surroundings. 

and i almost teared up. 

for i felt such freedom, such peace. 

i felt safe in the company of these beloved people.

i felt beyond loved.

and mostly i felt thankful, because safety and freedom and peace haven't always been mine. 

and I think there is something extremely beautiful to be said about 

our loving Father making

all things new. 

as I laid my head on Kevin's shoulder,

i whispered to Abba 

a feeble thank you.

but meant it with all my heart. 

what joy there is in counting our blessings! 

happy week dear friends:) 

love Katie 

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. 

Stand firm, then, and do not let 

yourselves be burdened again 

by a yoke of slavery." 

- Galatians 5:1

i remember...the one month count-down.

  Today in fact marks a month before we move to Asia. 

it's a tad surreal, and I feel almost as though it's not happening. 

as if "i'm moving to asia" is even like a normal sentence to say. 

Yesterday I sat in my living room on the couch, reading and journaling. It was all very normal until all of a sudden it hit me that i'm counting my last days in this beloved janky apartment God has given us this past year. 

{interject katie's teary face.} 

the memories are gifts I will carry with me forever. 

momentos of monday night college bible studies with tea and coffee and laughter.

wednesday night life groups with hugs and tears and worship and depth. 

afternoons filled with playing and dancing and reading and cooking with our little neighbors whom we adore. 

mornings with tea and blankets cuddled on the couch with Abba. 

the most lovely and simple realization came warmly to rest upon my heart. 

that life is community that is lived in the cracks and crannies of our day. 

rarely do I remember anything else but the community, and hardly does anything impact me as deeply. 

i don't remember the days I wasted on facebook, and if I do i'm quite sad they stole precious minutes. 

i don't remember the naps I took or the outfits that took ages to put together. 

but i remember dancing to gangam style with two little boys who had definite swag.

i remember hosting a ghetto vbs on our front porch.

 

i remember when i almost burned the apartment down cooking a thanksgiving dinner for our neighbors.

i remember Kevin holding me in his arms on the couch when I cried

{which was, ummmm, a lot}

and i remember Abba's sweet whispering that i am loved and forgiven while sitting in my green chair. 

very little of my memory holds space for anything else but kingdom work. 

because what is LIFE if we're not ALIVE in Abba's will? 

if we're not living and loving and doing all that we can 

to bring heaven's delights to earth's crumbles?

So as I close this chapter of my life, I do not regret the giving. 

the giving of our home, our time, our life and our hearts. 

we didn't do it perfectly, 

Lord knows we failed 

and sometimes we just locked the door and hid when the kids rang the doorbell a million times. 

but in our experiment of giving so that community could thrive,

we won. 

God's gift to us came in the breaking down of our individualistic tendencies. 

painful at times when all we wanted to do was ignore everyone and watch Downton Abbey.

But the breaking happened 

so that His love seeds could scatter further and longer.

I learned that community is the soil in which those love seeds are planted.

We can't plant seeds if we're a hermit. just a newsflash. 

and even though I cry about leaving behind my little babies in the neighborhood,

I don't have to worry, because the seeds are sown,

and Abba's the one who will water and grow them anyway.

so my babies are in good hands. 

and that's what i remember.

the community.

the giving.

the love seeds.

and the God who cares enough about all of it to shower down grace.

wherever we may go. 

and that gives me great joy as we move. 

because we can't move anywhere out of Abba's realm.

thank God. 

love Katie