Peace from Pain

Wednesday, December 11

This morning I woke, rays of sunshine on my face and undeserved peace welling deep within. 
I smiled, and whispered a loaded thank you to the Lord. 
This season of peace has been beautiful for so many reasons.

In the last two years, sweet Abba has restored this heart of mine. 
From fear and failure to faith and freedom. 
From pain and anxiety to perfect peace. 

You see, around the time Kevin and I were first married, 
a slew of unspeakably difficult emotional hurricanes blew into our lives. And with force, this storm drove deep within my soul and untethered all that I knew to be true about myself. It was the unearthing of sin and bad habits that somehow sat right in front of my face. It was the gale of past hurts and pain that glaringly haunted my thoughts. 
And it was winds of external situations that kept slamming and howling into our lives...

Kevin's mother was in the midst of fighting cancer, 
many of our close friends had moved away and we felt a bit lonely. 
We had a foreign visitor show up unexpectedly on a front door step THE DAY WE GOT BACK FROM OUR HONEYMOON to stay for 2 months!! {that's a book in itself!}
Kevin's parents house flooded. 
I found out some devastating news about some people I loved very dearly that made me very confused and hurt, 
my health was failing,  

In some moments, I felt as though my world was falling apart and I was drowning and didn't know how to stay afloat.

{The incredible silver lining in those dark hours was my marriage. 
By God's grace, no matter what was happening outside of our home, 
our marriage was loving and beautiful, true and real, 
honest and perfect in the way God made it. 
Kevin will forever be my hero.} 

But in that time, 
I woke up almost every morning with fear, panic, and anxiety ruling my emotions.
 I'd never experienced something like this before, it almost paralyzed me. 
I didn't feel God. 
I second guessed every single decision I made. 
I wondered if I'd ever feel peace again. 
In some ways, I was just surviving. 

but I made it through the wreckage, and what has emerged has been nothing less than a miracle.
{which I will be sharing more with you about later!} 

But today, over two years later I smile and think about the faithfulness of God. 
The intensity of His promise to 
make all things new. 
The truth of His words when He tell me He has GOOD plans for me. 
THe integrity of his words when He gently whispers "Katie, I will never leave you nor forsake you". 

The Lord is fierce in His love for us. 
and Kind. 
Unbelievably Kind. 

So today I say this to you, 
you are not forgotten. 
Peace is not out of your reach. 
God is bigger than anxiety and fear. 
God is a restorer of broken walls, and a redeemer of shattered dreams and hearts. 

God makes us whole again, even when the evil one has told us we are unrepairable. 
we are. 
Because all is possible with a Savior. 

I don't know why I wrote this post today. But I felt like it was for someone. 

This Christmas, know, KNOW, that wherever you are and however you feel, 
peace can be granted and given because GRACE is alive and active, 
and God is the most generous giver I know, and Jesus the best gift.  

peace be with you,
love Katie 


  1. You are an amazing, beautiful, strong woman. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all of our Saviors love and Grace. Jesus is thee best gift, no doubt :) Thank you!

  2. You look absolutely beautiful in these pictures :) so glad God is showing you His faithfulness.

  3. God is so good! He has truly blessed you with His love and with Kevin's love. :-)

  4. Katie I just love hearing how God has turned your life into one of beauty and love.

  5. Amen sister. God is so faithful and I'm always encouraged to know his plans are bigger than my own. XOXO

  6. that was so beautiful. thank you for those sweet and encouraging words.

  7. I loved your post! So uplifting and bright. God sure is good! :)

  8. My heart just needed to hear many of the things you've said today, so thank you sharing!

  9. Thank you. That was EXACTLY what I needed today & right where I am at. So glad to have bumped into your post. God is faithful & good and in beautiful ways is able to encourage us in the difficult times.

  10. You are such a beautiful writer, girl! Love this post, and these examples of God's grace in your life. He is so good!

  11. As I always say, GOD DOESNT GIVE YOU THINGS HE KNOWS YOU CAN'T HANDLE & EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I'm a firm believer in these not only that but faith and trust in God. It gets you thru life.

    Come check out the new post What are your thoughts on faith?

  12. For someone who slept on a pillow filled with tears last night, thank you! God DOES allow hard stuff to come our way! And what we do with it.....that's the question. Life is real. Life is raw. Life is pain. Life is lonely. But with Christ, He GIVES us hope. He gives us an eternal reason to keep going. This past year has strengthened me in ways I never expected. On top of everything else and loosing two babies this year God has given me to LIVE in PEACE knowing, trusting in His faithfulness. thank you for posting. i continue to look forward to your future posts!

  13. AMEN! You are a gem, Katie. Thanks for posting what the Holy Spirit led you to share. The enemy wants us to believe that we are alone in our despair and anxiety. He seeks to isolate, but God desires community. God is a God with a Voice. This was a truth that led me out of my own anxiety. From the beginning of creation when He spoke the world into being, to the walls of Jericho falling down at the sound of a shout, to Jesus calming the sea with the sound of His voice. GOD SPEAKS. The Trinitarian God lives in community (Father, Son, Spirit) and since we are created to image God, we too are called to live in community within the Church Body. This is one of the strongest weapons against anxiety because when followers of Jesus band together to fight against the lies of the enemy with God's Truth, the Truth wins out. It may not be overnight, but Truth wins out. It may cost tears and may look a lot different than what we in our own eyes deem right, but Truth wins out. Our challenge is to be in community with each other as God's family and speak out when anxiety threatens to rob us of our joy and peace. This not only disarms the lies of the enemy, it also teaches us humility, because it is hard for a prideful person to admit that they need community and to be honest and raw about weaknesses and sin. SO, THANK YOU for being humble in your honesty, Truth-giving in your words, and faithful to share God's amazing faithfulness.

  14. Felt like the post was meant for me. My life has come Rona standstill an the future seems to e dark and blurry. I feel paralysed and exhausted. I seriously do not have the energy to carry on but I know God has plans for me and he is still working in it. But I'm drained at the moment.

  15. I needed this. Thank you for sharing. It is resonating with me on some of the things I have been experiencing in my first year of marriage. I know the Lord is near, but the trials have been heavy.

    1. Katie, thanks for your comment on my blog. You can find me at Thank you! :)

  16. I needed this and if this post is meant for anyone it would be me. The way you detailed storms, anxiety and doubt is exactly what I am going through right now. It helps so much to hear a redeeming story from someone that has experienced the same emotions. For a few weeks I too felt God wasn't near even though I knew he saw what was happening but I was too confused to see HE IS WORKING! First few years of marriage are hard and with each person that tells me that it is reassuring that it isn't an oddity but a natural progression into a new chapter. Thanks so much for this post!

  17. oh Katie, your blog constantly uplifts me. Thank you for always helping me remember what sometimes my weak heart forgets. I feel like I have grown so much closer to God recently and yet sometimes my fear overwhelms me and I forget. Thank you! It seems you wrote this for many of us today. I am so happy that you have found such a wonderful partner who loves you in the image of God. :)

  18. Oh Katie how much your words resonate. Beautiful, my friend. Your heart is simply beautiful.

  19. Totally needed to read this today! Thanks for sharing!

  20. This is such a great post (and your pictures are beautiful)! Your faith is amazing and you worded this beautifully.

  21. Thank you for this. God sure has a way about Him...about making my heart believe that He made a rainbow just for me, a ladybug land on my shoulder just to be sure I know He loves me, a puppy dog to meet me as I round the corner - just to make my heart melt, and today, He made me believe that I am that one woman this was written for. <3

  22. This was definitely for me. Thank you, Kate! :*

  23. Amen, amen, amen! I can't tell you how much I agree with the truths you wrote here. God is so faithful in His love toward us. I am so glad that you are in a season of peace right now. I'm so glad that you can see how God has been there all along even in the hardest times. I love you, sweet friend!

    By the way, we had someone live with us for 6 months, but we'd been married for 2 years at the time. I can't imagine coming home from my honeymoon and having someone living with us! You two are such a special couple!

  24. What a beautiful and important post Katie. God is clearly working his miracles through you. :)

  25. thanks for the reminder. I know I often tell myself that I'm unrepairable.

  26. Katie, thank you thank you. i need to hear this. i need someone to remind me about this, over and over again. after a hurricane comes a rainbow, right?

  27. I appreciate your vulnerability. I found what you had to say relateable in some ways and encouraging. Thanks for sharing!

  28. Katie!! Ahh you are the best. Thank you for writing straight from your heart. I have missed you so much! Looking foward to catching up :) I was literally in the middle of writing you a comment on your blog (it wasn't working and it was driving me crazy!!) when you friend requested me on Facebook today.. Too funny! Love you girl :) you rock!!

  29. What a beautiful post. God is good, and it's great that even with all the hard things that have happened, you can say that too. Your faith shines through!


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