love thy neighbor- we're working on it:)

 A huge part of my story has been learning how to fully love and be intentional with the people that are considered my neighbors. Jesus tells us to love our neighbor- to serve them, grow with them, be in their lives. For how else do we love them if we don't even have relationships with them?

Kevin and I experienced the most incredible gift when we started becoming intentional about our neighbors. We had moved into a low income neighborhood in Southern California, and we started having families and kids over almost daily. We hosted a Vacation Bible School (VBS) on our porch one summer and saw reconciliation happen in front of our eyes (read here)…we played and cooked and sang with our two little neighbor boys that stopped by every day while their parents were at work, and we became God-parents and hosted baby showers and parties for almost every holiday. We invited all our neighbors to a thanksgiving feast at our house when we cooked our first Turkey, and we had a Christmas sing-a-long complete with a nativity play and Christmas goodies. Kevin and I felt our marriage was so blessed because we weren't just concerned about "us", we were on mission to make others feel loved and welcomed.

So fast forward a few years and we just moved to Northern California. God gifted us with a beautiful little house (which i'm trying to dub "the cottage"), and Kevin and I have had a lot of late-night talks about how we want to spend our time. How we spend our days is essentially how we spend our life, and we want ours to count. A huge priority for us is loving our neighbors and getting to know them on a deeper level. We want our home to be a light that shines with tender grace and loving kindness.

And all this relationship stuff takes intentionality and thoughtfulness, it doesn't just happen. Here are a few things we've tried to do in an effort to prayerfully enter into our neighbors lives in a deeper way…

1.  Chased after neighbors: i'm not kidding, i'm becoming the crazy lady that literally runs down the street when I see a neighbor walking to or from their car. haha, it's hilarious. But in all seriousness, it always makes it less awkward to try to introduce yourself and get to know your neighbors when you first move in. You get a bit of a green light when you can fall back on the excuse of "we just moved in and wanted to meet our neighbors". Last week I chased down my 15 year old neighbor while he was minding his own business and skate boarding. I think I freaked him out, but in no time we were laughing and chatting, and learning more about each other. I want people to know that i'm an open person and am always available to talk. We'll see if that works or not:)

2. Map my neighborhood: Last week I drew up a map of our neighborhood and entered everyone's name I knew so far into their house spot. My goal is to have met all our neighbors and write down each name of everyone who lives there. Names are so powerful, and I want to be able to know my neighbors names and love on them in their uniqueness. I am quite positive I have MUCH to learn from my neighbors, and can't wait to see what they will show and teach me from their life.

3. Invite them to dinner: Kevin and I made a promise that we'd have each of our neighbors over for dinner this year. Food is the BEST way to bring people together, and if all else fails, at least you can eat, right? Next Monday our first neighbor family is coming over and i'm so excited. We're going to eat and then play games. It was really cool because I had mentioned playing games to our 15 year old neighbor, and a few days later his mom told me that he's really excited to play with us. Score!

4. Pray: This is probably the most important one. I so believe that God's desire for us is to be bold in LOVE and courageous in sharing HIS love so that others can meet him and be transformed by his grace. So Kevin and I have set our alarms to go off at 10pm each night so we can pray for our neighbors. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we fall asleep, but we're trying! We pray that our neighbors might meet God in a powerful way. Life is hard, but God gives us hope and comfort and a place in eternity with Him. And so we pray that God will open doors and plant and grow the seeds:)

We are excited to see what God does. He does crazy things when his people pray, so we are expectant. We won't do everything right, but we'll try our hardest to do what God is calling us to:)

I'd love to hear your stories of how you've loved your neighbors:) What a privilege it is to live for a mission greater than ourselves!! Happy Tuesday!

A tough few days, with a happy ending

As many of you already know from social media, these past few days have been incredibly difficult for me. On Monday night Kevin had a full blown heart attack, and truly, was on the verge of death.

To back up and give you some of the back story, Kevin had been feeling chest pain on and off since we had left for Turkey. He experienced it on the plane ride over to Turkey, and a few fleeting moments while we were on our vacation. When we got back last week, Kev immediately went in to the doctors, and was given an EKG. The EKG came back abnormal, so Kevin set up an appointment with a cardiologist for this Tuesday.

Monday night, Kev played basketball with friends, and after he had come home and showered,  began having very intense chest pain. Kevin has a very high pain tolerance, so I knew something must be wrong if he was doubling over in pain. Kevin went back and forth about whether he should go in to the emergency room, and finally his mom and I convinced him he needed to. I think he knew all along he was supposed to go!

We arrived at the emergency room, and they ushered him in right away. In the meantime, i'm sitting in the waiting room, texting friends and family to pray for him. At this point, I honestly didn't think it was going to be anything major. 10 minutes later, a nurse runs out and urgently asks me to come back.

I walk into a room, and to my horror Kevin is laying on a bed with a  100 wires hooked up to him. There are about 5 nurses running around him, and the room is tense. I finally ask someone what is going on. The nurse looks at me, as if to brace me, and whispers, "he's having a heart attack". I lost it, and began to sob. Shock had hit my body.

Within minutes, they prepare Kevin to ride in an ambulance to another hospital which specialized in cardiology.  I had texted his family and my life group to let them know what was going on. They immediately all jumped in their cars and headed for the new hospital.

The ride in the ambulance was scary because it felt so unknown. I really didn't have any idea why he was having a heart attack, and what that meant for him. For pete's sake, my sweet husband is 30 years old, and in great health. It didn't make sense. 

We arrived at the new hospital, and they immediately ushered him into surgery. This was life or death, and every second counted. I sat in the waiting room alone, silently crying, when an EMT came into the room and prayed for me. He was so kind, and gave me a hug after his prayer. I knew God was watching over me and Kevin.

Soon our family and friends arrived, and everyone was sobered by the situation. They hugged me, prayed over me and Kev, laughed with me, and just were there. I felt so wrapped in love that night. The doctor had told me that the surgery would take 30 minutes. 30 minutes went by and we didn't hear anything. 1 hour passed, and still nothing.

This was the hardest part. My mind wandered. I kept wondering, "is this the last time I'll see my husband?" and trembled at the thought. Every time I went there, I crumbled inside. I would be broken without him. I asked for prayers over my mind and thoughts, and soon I felt a very distinct peace. I had to trust that God loved Kevin more than I did. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the doctor poked his head in and called me back. I took Kevin's parents with me. I had no idea what they were going to say to me.

The doctor quickly explained that Kevin's largest artery to his heart had been completely blocked. He was receiving no blood/oxygen to his heart for the last few hours. He looked at me, and said "if you didn't come in tonight, he would have died". The doctor, however, was baffled why a healthy 30 year old who didn't smoke or do drugs, would have a heart attack. The only explanation was family genes, both his grandfather and great-grandfather had a history of heart disease. The doctor and his team had put a stint in Kevin's artery, which will remain there forever. It had taken longer because Kevin is a tall guy, and they had some trouble getting the cathater through his groin, and up into his heart. {who knew you could go through the groin to get to the heart? fascinating!}

When he was done explaining the surgery, I fought every urge inside me to give the doctor a hug and kiss. He saved my husband's life!! I resisted the urge, but loved him for saving a life!

The team moved Kevin to ICU, where he was monitored all night long. He had some irregular heart beats, which made the doctor nervous. I spent all my time with Kevin, as he slept, took his meds, and was tested. Poor guy, my heart was just so heavy for him. Yesterday around late afternoon, we received the good news that Kevin could be moved out of ICU and onto the cardio floor. He had his own quiet room in the corner.

Last night, he took his first few steps around the hallway, which was a victory. We received some wonderful visitors all evening, and then went to bed. I first climbed in to Kev's bed, snuggling with him for about an hour before the nurse told me I needed to go to my cot. I honestly slept like a baby on that cot…but mostly I think it was the happiness over my husband being alive. ALIVE. One verse God gave me in this time was Nehemiah 9:6, which says, "...you give LIFE to everything". I couldn't help but just praise my God for giving life to Kevin.

Today, after so many lovely visitors came to see Kevin, we were told that Kevin was going to be discharged this evening. It was a miracle! Two days before he was on the verge of death, and now he was going home. We are now at home resting. I'm watching my sweet Kevin laying on the couch, and praising Jesus for his life. I know that life is a gift, and i'm so thankful this week God gave me more time with my husband:)

I just want to end by saying a HUGE thank you!! So many of your have left sweet comments on instagram, Facebook, sent me emails, and even called. We have felt absolutely supported from the first minute of this ordeal. I literally think thousands of people have been praying for Kevin, and WE HAVE FELT THE PRAYERS! Thank you thank you thank you. I cannot thank you enough!!

I promise I will try to respond to emails soon! But know that I read them, and was filled with JOY and BLESSING from them:) Ok, well if you made it to the end of this novel, thank you:) You bless me friend!!

xoxo
Katie (and most definitely from Kevin too!!)

love in the light

last week, Kevin and I were house sitting for some dear friends. 

The minute I saw their window seat drenched heavily in the rays of sun,

I was mesmerized by the light. 

Light poured into this space all day, so inviting and pure. 

All I wanted to do was curl up, read a  book, and just soak myself in the light. 

So enraptured was I, that I even finagled my sweet husband to do a little shoot with me…lucky him (haha!) 

In the aftermath, as I sat looking at the pictures 

a phrase so powerful kept running through my mind…

that love in the light, is the best kind of love. 

love needs light. 

light that uncovers our darkest secrets so that they are out in the open and free to be dealt with. 

light that exposes our sin, and brings it to the forefront to be redeemed.

light that calls out our unhealthy thought patterns and forces them to be renewed. 

no relationship can thrive in the dark. 

when Kevin and I first started dating, we faced some serious storms at sea, 

where the darkness of our past had to be unearthed in order for our ship to keep sailing. 

we had to admit our failures. 

we had to own up to our past. 

and there were a lot of tears involved. a lot of hurt feelings. a suitcase full of disappointment. 

and yet, when we turned over the baggage of our darkness,

and let it sit in the light, all awkward, and bare and vulnerable, 

it soon became a thing of beauty as Kevin and I resolved to go forward together,

in a radiant step to live and love in the open. 

to be transparent, 

to be authentic,

to be real and honest and vulnerable. 

to be the secret keepers,

the lovers and pray-ers and guardians of one another.  

and where there is light, there can be no darkness at all. 

yes, i'm convinced love in the light is where the joy is at. 

Thank you Jesus, that you are the light of the world. 

and in you there is always enough light to cover us. 

Happy Valentines Day friends,

love Katie (& Kevin too!) 

{aaannnndddd, let's face it…most the time we look like this below…}

Peace from Pain

This morning I woke, rays of sunshine on my face and undeserved peace welling deep within. 

I smiled, and whispered a loaded thank you to the Lord. 

This season of peace has been beautiful for so many reasons.

In the last two years, sweet Abba has restored this heart of mine. 

From fear and failure to faith and freedom. 

From pain and anxiety to perfect peace. 

You see, around the time Kevin and I were first married, 

a slew of unspeakably difficult emotional hurricanes blew into our lives. And with force, this storm drove deep within my soul and untethered all that I knew to be true about myself. It was the unearthing of sin and bad habits that somehow sat right in front of my face. It was the gale of past hurts and pain that glaringly haunted my thoughts. 

And it was winds of external situations that kept slamming and howling into our lives...

Kevin's mother was in the midst of fighting cancer, 

many of our close friends had moved away and we felt a bit lonely. 

We had a foreign visitor show up unexpectedly on a front door step THE DAY WE GOT BACK FROM OUR HONEYMOON to stay for 2 months!! {that's a book in itself!}

Kevin's parents house flooded. 

I found out some devastating news about some people I loved very dearly that made me very confused and hurt, 

my health was failing,  

In some moments, I felt as though my world was falling apart and I was drowning and didn't know how to stay afloat.

{The incredible silver lining in those dark hours was my marriage. 

By God's grace, no matter what was happening outside of our home, 

our marriage was loving and beautiful, true and real, 

honest and perfect in the way God made it. 

Kevin will forever be my hero.} 

But in that time, 

I woke up almost every morning with fear, panic, and anxiety ruling my emotions.

 I'd never experienced something like this before, it almost paralyzed me. 

I didn't feel God. 

I second guessed every single decision I made. 

I wondered if I'd ever feel peace again. 

In some ways, I was just surviving. 

but I made it through the wreckage, and what has emerged has been nothing less than a miracle.
{which I will be sharing more with you about later!} 

But today, over two years later I smile and think about the faithfulness of God. 

The intensity of His promise to 

make all things new. 

The truth of His words when He tell me He has GOOD plans for me. 

THe integrity of his words when He gently whispers "Katie, I will never leave you nor forsake you". 

The Lord is fierce in His love for us. 

Unrelenting

and Kind. 

Unbelievably Kind. 

So today I say this to you, 

you are not forgotten. 

Peace is not out of your reach. 

God is bigger than anxiety and fear. 

God is a restorer of broken walls, and a redeemer of shattered dreams and hearts. 

God makes us whole again, even when the evil one has told us we are unrepairable. 

we are. 

Because all is possible with a Savior. 

I don't know why I wrote this post today. But I felt like it was for someone. 

This Christmas, know, KNOW, that wherever you are and however you feel, 

peace can be granted and given because GRACE is alive and active, 

and God is the most generous giver I know, and Jesus the best gift.  

peace be with you,

love Katie 

by our love

There are these moments when I see heaven on earth
as I watch a believer engage with the world in deep, humble and sacrificial ways.  

This happens every day as I watch the staff in the aftercare home pour life and love drop by drop.

 Almost a month ago we received two sweet precious girls. 

Scared and trembling they came to us. 

One child specifically feared the darkness, for in her past, the black of night only meant terror.

And I watched as little by little, day by day, this sweet blossom of a girl began to  open.

And I also watched as our staff pressed in fiercely to be by her side, 

night and day when the fears reared their evil head.

And soon the radiance of light began to replace the darkness.

beams from heaven were already crashing in.

Just last week this same child, with a sparkle in her eye and a smile on her face whispered softly and gently to one of our staff…

“ I have never felt loved like I do now. It’s because you guys are Christians, isn’t it?”

friends, I cried the happiest tears my little heart could spout. 

This little girl, 

from a broken home, 

a hindu home, 

KNEW we were Christians by our love.

Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?

That we are known by our love?

Our staff did not force, coerce or dictate this girl to Jesus.

Our staff member loved this sweet girl to Jesus.

A Jesus that embraced this little one’s scars,

Held up his own scars,

And said “I gave my life for you and love you higher and deeper than you even know”.

No.

There are no holes in the gospel when we choose to love people to Jesus.

When we engage with

the hurting, the broken, the scarred, the wounded, the hopeless.

Our gospel is alive and whole.

praying we can all do a little examining this weekend and find the holes that may be present in our gospel. 

much love,

Katie 

together, because marriage matters

 My brother emailed me today and asked how our marriage was going in Nepal,

 being that we are in a hard place with new types of stressors. 

I sat for a moment in pure silence, thinking and reflecting upon that loaded question. A warm and lovely light seem to illuminate the home we've made here, and I smiled as the answers began to form. 

It's hard to describe how beautiful our precious time here together has been, 

and in short to his question, my answer would be delightful. 

Yes, our marriage has been delightful over here in Nepal. 

not because we are perfect people

despite the fact that we look pretty ragged and gross after puking up last night's dal bhat

or the fact that our bathroom conversations typically end with one of us yelling "my butt just fell off" 

{which is probably about as unromantic as it comes especially when the smell wafts over}

and also, despite the fact that sometimes I'm an emotional train wreck with sob stains on my cheek 

but mostly because our marriage matters in this place. 

It matters because our love is a light that shines in darkness. 

and our love is on a mission to bring the kingdom of God, here and now. 

every marriage matters in the place they are, because every marriage is a ministry. 

every time we serve one another and choose to love even when it's hard, 

heaven tenderly pours down. 

and when our love is on mission to be about more than just us,  

it is a very small expression of Christ, who gave himself up for others. 

today as we lay on our bed in the morning, I leaned over and gently kissed Kev, 

whispering in his ear that I was humbled to be his. 

we laughed and talked about what made this time so special. 

back in the US, when we were both working full time, evenings and weekends were our only time just the two of us. The days filled, and we always had somewhere to be. 

But here in Nepal, we are together every moment of every day. 

we walk all over the city together, we snuggle up at night after the electricity has gone out and talk and laugh and watch movies together, we attempt to cook together, and buy fresh vegetables and fruit at the market together. we meet new people together, and teach the girls english and even some songs and dances together, we take each other to the doctors together, and slowly, painfully learn nepali together. 

together. 

my favorite word. 

It is like Abba has handed us this sacred gift of time, 

where we have one goal and one heart to love and serve God.  

We get to dream and plan and organize and write together. 

recently an amazing organization that works with rescuing trafficked girls approached us about helping to start a website for their handicraft business. Their items are amazing (I can't wait to feature a few on the blog, and maybe even do a give-a-way!). But what was so exciting is just thinking about how Kevin and I are a team in all we do. And that this adventure is really two hearts living as one. 

and that I think is the essence of what makes marriage so sacred and special. 

that God in his infinite wisdom 

would plan a union that unites two,

as a strong cord

 to LOVE God, love each other, and love others

together. 

it's like holy teamwork. 

and even as I sit here all disheveled in my pajamas, my hair a tangled knotty mess, and probably like 500 parasites crawling around having a party inside of me, I feel so thankful to be loved so fully by a man who chooses each and every day not just to "exist and get through" life with me but to "LIVE OVERFLOWING" life with me in a crazy, adventurous, brave, abundant kind of way. 

a way that chooses "us" over "me".

because marriage matters. 

and i'm so humbled that God gave me Kev. 

happy day sweet friend,

love Katie 

love is spilling friends...a give-a-way

Yesterday showered sunshine raw and genuine and beautiful upon Kevin and I. 

for starters i swear it was 85 degrees.

i wore shorts and a tank top. in march. um...hello SPRING! 

two sweet friends came over for breakfast, and we talked and shared and laughed and were real. 

genuine conversation about a God that heals and mends and binds broken wounds. 

{i'm pretty sure happy dancing was involved}

at church our pastor called Kevin and I up front to pray for us while our life group laid hands on us.

It was so powerful to have a church body lean into what God has for us, 

and tangibly support our journey. 

Honestly, I felt the body of believers BE the church as they surrounded us. 

After church our life group grabbed food and took it to the park where we basked in the rays and gobbled down pizza and took goodbye pictures. 

Later, Kevin and I rode our beach cruisers over to his parents house. We watched basketball (i'm kind of a die hard March Madness fan!), and then Kev's family and a few friends came over to our house where Kev and I cooked up our last meal at our little abode. 

Late into the night we laughed.

The phrase "i'm going to miss you" played on repeat. 

but the bottom line was, 

when i closed the night,

i literally felt clothed in LOVE. 

a radiating agape garment draped heavy over my heart. 

and joy and happiness were mine to savor,

i hugged tight not wanting the day to end. 

To be known and loved is so powerful. There is absolutely nothing like it. 

and so because of this LOVE,

i want to extend even more to you my dearest readers and share a give-a-way for you:) 

I am giving away 5 Africa Hope Shirts to you dear readers!! 

yes, f-i-v-e! 

You can read more about how I started Africa Hope here 

(I did an Africa series, part I, II, III)

The only thing you need to do to enter the give-a-way is this:

1) Be a follower of Hope Engaged

2) Leave a comment, including what shirt you like best:) 

{You can see all the shirts below}

That's it! Nothing too hard! 

Have a WONDERFUL Monday dear friends...my last Monday in the USA for 5 months! (wow!!)

love Katie 

women's shirts:

            

            

 

            

 

           

 

men's shirts:

              

         

love is deeper still.

Kevin and I leave for Asia on April 1st, and that fact alone is blowing my mind. 

It has seemed exotic, adventurous, and a tad bit romantic to think that we are moving together as a young couple to a foreign country to do something good and bold and kind.

 Together. 

But tonight.

tonight the sobering fact of evil faced us head on, and I wept. 

my soul spilled tears,

deep, 

and mostly heavy. 

the weight of something unbelievably evil. 

nefarious, in fact. 

my good friend Isaac, who works in an aftercare home for girls rescued out of sex-trafficking in Cambodia, recommended that we watch the documentary called "Nefarious" in an attempt to help prepare ourselves for the work we will be doing in Nepal. 

"prepare"might not be the most useful adjective to describe the effect this film had on me. 

maybe more liked "wrecked". 

yes, it wrecked me. 

kevin and nate and i just sat still when the movie ended. 

in the dark. as the credits rolled. 

my mind a screen, replaying the image of hell. 

but for as deeply evil as the most heinous act in the film,

what struck me raw,

to the core,

was that's Abba's LOVE was the hero. 

Corrie Ten Boom said,

"There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still.”

when all that was perverted and abused and twisted and dark transpired,

it was only,

only,

the deep agape,

the love without condition or any condemnation,

that saved these women. 

that shone LIGHT. 

every women who testified of such torture,

ended their story full of redemption in a Savior that loved them with an

overflowing, 

unconditional 

stream of agape. 

and I fell at HIS feet as

Kevin and Nate and I

all prayed,

thanking him for the bright lights of His love,

that can bring our hearts out of despair in a way that no drug or 10 step process ever could. 

the note of Christ's LOVE is where we landed. 

yes there is evil, but that is NOT the end. 

evil does not win. 

God wins.

love wins. 

I do not know how our time in Asia will go.

I am not sure exactly what we will be doing. 

I have no idea how my feeble self will withstand the tales of torture.

But one thing I know is this,

my God,

my Redeemer,

He is LOVE. 

and where there is LOVE,

there is no fear. 

so i want to be brave with my life,

and carry HIS love with me as we move and minister and live

in Asia. 

thank you all for praying and standing with us as we prepare. 

we are humbled. 

and please please please watch the film Nefarious. 

you can see the trailer here. 

{and don't say i didn't warn you. it will wreck you.}

but in bravery,

be ever wrecked for the kingdom,

swimming in His love. 

love Katie 

a valentines day picnic

today was simple and beautiful. 

kevin surprised me with joy-filled sticky notes all over the house. 

he took me on a picnic to the park. 

we rode our bikes because it was beautiful out, 

and he bought all my favorites snacks...

"inner peas" from Trader Joe's {amazing!}. 

we hugged neighbors,

and chased geese at the lake,

and laughed to the wind,

and thanked Abba for his good gifts,

and held hands like lovers do. 

and danced in the sun. 

because we are in love. 

hope your day was equally as bright and cheery and full of love. 

love Katie 

{twirling, because what's a swishy dress without twirling?}

 

{our love bikes at sunset}