Sometimes you just need someone to hold you and speak the truth

A few days ago a string of events occurred that left me feeling like I had just failed at life. I feebly fell into my car after work, drove home in traffic with tears streaming down my face, and slumped into the house. I dropped my bags, slid up the stairs, and threw myself on the bed curling up like a child. Kevin got home a few minutes later, came up the stairs, saw me a hot mess, and without a word, cuddled up beside me, wrapping his strong arms around me, kissing my wet face, and replacing the tears with his sweet kiss. When I calmed, he sat me up and asked me what was wrong. When I spewed out the events of my crummy day, he places his hands on my arms, looked me straight into the eyes, and started speaking truth into the lies that had absorbed my thinking.

Where I had seem myself a failure, he boldly defied the lie.
YOU are not a failure, YOU are loved and valued and matter.

Where I had scoffed at my mistakes,
he normalized that EVERYONE makes mistakes, and in the scheme of things, mine were minuscule and easily remedied.

Where I felt absolutely inadequate {especially in the area of my new career},
he reminded me that I am new to this career. That I am right where I need to be to succeed, and there is no way I could have all the answers right now. That I am in a learning phase, and that is perfectly where I should be.

Where I felt ugly,
he took his hands and cupped them around my face and told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever met {just like he does every time I feel this way}.

And in those moments of tender care and truth telling, the weight of my brokeness gave way to a crashing grace that filled every part of me. I needed truth to guide me. I needed truth to remind me of WHO I am. I needed truth to give me a wider perspective. And thank you Jesus that I have a husband who guides me in the ways of the holy one. That reminds me of my infinite value, and reminds me that I was uniquely knitted and formed, and reminds me that I don't have to be perfect.

Kevin's love and truth are just a small extension of the grace and magnitude of God's love. That God is so fully for us, even when we crash and burn. His LOVE is so deep and wide and healing. It takes our crushed spirit and breathes new life. He is so kind. 

And that's what I needed a few days ago, and really, every day. Truth. It's where it's at.

Happy Thursday friends…praying you feel God's truth about WHO you are, and WHOSE you are! 

A tough few days, with a happy ending

As many of you already know from social media, these past few days have been incredibly difficult for me. On Monday night Kevin had a full blown heart attack, and truly, was on the verge of death.

To back up and give you some of the back story, Kevin had been feeling chest pain on and off since we had left for Turkey. He experienced it on the plane ride over to Turkey, and a few fleeting moments while we were on our vacation. When we got back last week, Kev immediately went in to the doctors, and was given an EKG. The EKG came back abnormal, so Kevin set up an appointment with a cardiologist for this Tuesday.

Monday night, Kev played basketball with friends, and after he had come home and showered,  began having very intense chest pain. Kevin has a very high pain tolerance, so I knew something must be wrong if he was doubling over in pain. Kevin went back and forth about whether he should go in to the emergency room, and finally his mom and I convinced him he needed to. I think he knew all along he was supposed to go!

We arrived at the emergency room, and they ushered him in right away. In the meantime, i'm sitting in the waiting room, texting friends and family to pray for him. At this point, I honestly didn't think it was going to be anything major. 10 minutes later, a nurse runs out and urgently asks me to come back.

I walk into a room, and to my horror Kevin is laying on a bed with a  100 wires hooked up to him. There are about 5 nurses running around him, and the room is tense. I finally ask someone what is going on. The nurse looks at me, as if to brace me, and whispers, "he's having a heart attack". I lost it, and began to sob. Shock had hit my body.

Within minutes, they prepare Kevin to ride in an ambulance to another hospital which specialized in cardiology.  I had texted his family and my life group to let them know what was going on. They immediately all jumped in their cars and headed for the new hospital.

The ride in the ambulance was scary because it felt so unknown. I really didn't have any idea why he was having a heart attack, and what that meant for him. For pete's sake, my sweet husband is 30 years old, and in great health. It didn't make sense. 

We arrived at the new hospital, and they immediately ushered him into surgery. This was life or death, and every second counted. I sat in the waiting room alone, silently crying, when an EMT came into the room and prayed for me. He was so kind, and gave me a hug after his prayer. I knew God was watching over me and Kevin.

Soon our family and friends arrived, and everyone was sobered by the situation. They hugged me, prayed over me and Kev, laughed with me, and just were there. I felt so wrapped in love that night. The doctor had told me that the surgery would take 30 minutes. 30 minutes went by and we didn't hear anything. 1 hour passed, and still nothing.

This was the hardest part. My mind wandered. I kept wondering, "is this the last time I'll see my husband?" and trembled at the thought. Every time I went there, I crumbled inside. I would be broken without him. I asked for prayers over my mind and thoughts, and soon I felt a very distinct peace. I had to trust that God loved Kevin more than I did. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the doctor poked his head in and called me back. I took Kevin's parents with me. I had no idea what they were going to say to me.

The doctor quickly explained that Kevin's largest artery to his heart had been completely blocked. He was receiving no blood/oxygen to his heart for the last few hours. He looked at me, and said "if you didn't come in tonight, he would have died". The doctor, however, was baffled why a healthy 30 year old who didn't smoke or do drugs, would have a heart attack. The only explanation was family genes, both his grandfather and great-grandfather had a history of heart disease. The doctor and his team had put a stint in Kevin's artery, which will remain there forever. It had taken longer because Kevin is a tall guy, and they had some trouble getting the cathater through his groin, and up into his heart. {who knew you could go through the groin to get to the heart? fascinating!}

When he was done explaining the surgery, I fought every urge inside me to give the doctor a hug and kiss. He saved my husband's life!! I resisted the urge, but loved him for saving a life!

The team moved Kevin to ICU, where he was monitored all night long. He had some irregular heart beats, which made the doctor nervous. I spent all my time with Kevin, as he slept, took his meds, and was tested. Poor guy, my heart was just so heavy for him. Yesterday around late afternoon, we received the good news that Kevin could be moved out of ICU and onto the cardio floor. He had his own quiet room in the corner.

Last night, he took his first few steps around the hallway, which was a victory. We received some wonderful visitors all evening, and then went to bed. I first climbed in to Kev's bed, snuggling with him for about an hour before the nurse told me I needed to go to my cot. I honestly slept like a baby on that cot…but mostly I think it was the happiness over my husband being alive. ALIVE. One verse God gave me in this time was Nehemiah 9:6, which says, "...you give LIFE to everything". I couldn't help but just praise my God for giving life to Kevin.

Today, after so many lovely visitors came to see Kevin, we were told that Kevin was going to be discharged this evening. It was a miracle! Two days before he was on the verge of death, and now he was going home. We are now at home resting. I'm watching my sweet Kevin laying on the couch, and praising Jesus for his life. I know that life is a gift, and i'm so thankful this week God gave me more time with my husband:)

I just want to end by saying a HUGE thank you!! So many of your have left sweet comments on instagram, Facebook, sent me emails, and even called. We have felt absolutely supported from the first minute of this ordeal. I literally think thousands of people have been praying for Kevin, and WE HAVE FELT THE PRAYERS! Thank you thank you thank you. I cannot thank you enough!!

I promise I will try to respond to emails soon! But know that I read them, and was filled with JOY and BLESSING from them:) Ok, well if you made it to the end of this novel, thank you:) You bless me friend!!

xoxo
Katie (and most definitely from Kevin too!!)

Reflections on turning 30

I turned 30 yesterday.

Ok, you can all pick your jaws up off the floor at this revelation…I know, I LOOK LIKE I'M 20.
People literally don't believe me when I tell them my age, like they legit think i'm lying.
But come on people, why would I lie about being 30?

For most of my life I hated looking so young, and would be deceiving you if I said I wasn't massively self-conscious about that fact. But maybe i've turned a new leaf. I kind of like it now. (Just don't tell me I look like i'm in junior high. I got that last year, and i'm pretty sure I NEVER EVER want to look like i'm in junior high again. ever. bad stage. bad school pictures. ok, done.)

But all this turning 30 business has made me rather nostalgic, peeking back into the last decade of my 20's and wondering what it is I gleaned that has made me a better person. Being in your twenties is like being bi-polar. There were some HIGH highs, and some serious LOW-lows. For the first time in your life you are not at the same stage as everyone else, just traveling along, grade level by grade level. No, you get out on your own and you realize life is your oyster, and your little shellfish can look insanely different than others. There are some serious variables that you can't control, like getting married. But there are things you can control, like choosing where to work and live.

I feel good turning 30 because i'm absolutely at peace with where i'm at and who I am.

But it was a long road in getting to this place, a long, but good one.

Here are the most profound lessons i've learned in my twenties:

1) Take Risks: I took a lot of risks in my twenties. I moved over to Thailand knowing no one, traveling around teaching English where ever I could get a job. I started a clothing line that donated over $30K to different organizations working in Africa. I worked on a farm (twice) and drove a massive tractor. I spent a year of my life working for Invisible Children and traveling around the US in a van speaking at hundreds of schools, churches, and venues about the conflict in Northern Uganda. I traveled to Africa twice, one time alone. I got married. I moved into a low income neighborhood without knowing a single person. I started a girls group in my neighborhood having no clue who would come that first day. Kevin and I moved to Nepal, and hit our 40th country traveled to. These risks all changed my life and shaped me into the person I am today. Risks showed me that life isn't as scary as we might think it is, and that God protects us when we are living in his will. Risks propel us into a crazy dependency on God, because risk involves the unknown, and the unknown means we have to give up control. Risk is good, and I recommend doing it, a lot.

2) Don't Glamorize your Risks, they are going to be HARD!: All those risks I took above…they may sound glamorous, but the reality is, they were HARD. All of them. Thailand was lonely, hot, and emotionally draining. That clothing line I started, took hours of my week ordering,packing and mailing shirts- and in the end I closed up shop not because demand decreased, but because I didn't have the time to keep it running. Working the farm was 11 hour days handling heavy equipment, greasing a tractor, being itchy in rice straw, and shoveling dirt off a machine. Traveling around the US for Invisible Children was early mornings, long nights, team conflict, no money, home sickness, and brownies and pizza for every meal (barf!). Africa wrecked me (in a good way), but it was hard. Moving into a low income neighborhood was tough- building trust, living in an apartment with cockroaches, and seeing poverty that broke me. The girls group I started made so much headway, but took physical and emotional work and hours of my week. And moving to Nepal rendered me sick every week. ALL OF THESE were worth it, every second. But I think our generation has a tendency to think that risk should just be adventurous and glamorous and sexy. I carried with me a romanticized view of risk, and it disillusioned me when I was met with a hard situation that involved long term commitment and work. But that's what makes risk so incredible, is that we dedicate our lives to something so worth the investment!

3) Forgive and accept forgiveness: The reality for all of us is that we will be hurt, sometimes deeply wounded. My twenties involved a good amount of hurting and being hurt. We are humans, sue us! It's going to happen (and if it hasn't, what planet do you live on? because I want to move there). I was hurt by some of the closest people in my life, and I hurt some of the closest people in my life. And it was a painful process of learning to forgive others when they hurt me, and learning to forgive myself when I hurt others. But forgiveness is where the magic happens. It is not forgetting what happened, but it is foregoing our right to get even. For so many years I lived with a lot of bitterness and resentment, and it affected my health and emotional well being. When I finally learned (through lots of prayer and intentionality) to let go, I could not believe how much better I felt in every way. Like a wight lifted. Learn to be a person of grace. 

4) Don't expect so much: I held on to some crazy high expectations for everyone and every situation. And if people didn't live up to my expectations (which was always) I would be disappointed (which was like always). It took an extreme situation to reveal how cruel my expectations were to others and to myself. When we expect others to be a certain way, we strip them of the way God uniquely crafted them. When we expect such high things for ourselves, we come to despise ourselves when we fail. My husband modeled for me how to just embrace and love people (and ourselves) and events as they are, not as they should be. As a result, life is just a lot more fun!

5) Don't gossip: While in my twenties, I found that when someone hurt me, my natural instinct was to tell all those friends closest to me; partly because I am a verbal processor by nature, and partly because I wanted someone to sympathize with me. But I've realize that it just never does any good to spread negative news. Something small can turn into something big, and then it's out of control and people's emotions are involved. Proverbs has much to say about gossip, but one verse that I love is this, "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever relates the matter separates close friends" (proverbs 17:9). It is good for us to keep a matter to ourself and let it blow over, or to find one person (a husband, parent, friend) to talk through it with and gain some perspective. The last few years of doing this has shown me that if we don't gossip about it, it doesn't affect us as much, and soon the matter passes. We are better friends when we show discretion. We love when we don't gossip.

6) God can redeem the crappy stuff: I had some relationships fall apart that I literally didn't think God could repair. And you know what, he did. Not only did he repair them, but he made them more beautiful. Don't give up on a relationship, especially if it's in your own family. Give it time, prayer, and love, and you will be surprised at what He can do:)

7) Healing is real: I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease in my twenties, and the first few years were nothing short of depressing and almost hopeless, as my health declined rapidly. Yet when I found a holistic chiropractor, his natural and cutting-edge methods began to revive my body, and in turn, my spirit. I spent almost all of my twenties believing that i'd never get better, but these last few years have been a living testimony to the fact that no one is beyond healing! This goes for emotional healing as well!

8) Have boundaries!: I am a visionary through and through, but this led me to living a life full steam ahead with no boundaries. I said yes to everything people asked me to participate in, I maximized social media to a fault, I worked to please everyone, and I pursued every relationships like people should be my best friend. Somewhere in my twenties, I burnt out and hit rock bottom. I learned to live a more quiet life- our souls need that, you know? I said "no" to people, I got rid of most of my social media outlets, I learned that it was ok if people didn't like my decisions, and I took inventory of the people I wanted most in my life and pursued those relationships on a deeper level (instead of spreading myself so thin). Learning to put up boundaries in my life has been really good. It has allowed my worth to come from the Lord, not others.

9) Enjoy what God has given YOU: In the age of social media, I sometimes wonder if we spend more time coveting what others have, than appreciating the unique life and place God has given us (which is why i've unplugged from a few outlets!). Somewhere in my twenties, I realized that gratitude is where JOY is at. Our hearts flourish when we just praise Him. I've learned (and am learning) that MY situation is God's gift to me, and YOUR situation is God's gift to you. Even a hard season in my life can gift me the opportunity to find out more about God, and more about how He created me. It's all about embracing the gifts and life He's given us!!

As if 30 has really made me a wise sage, it hasn't.
But it has made me wiser.
It's made me kinder.
It's made me more graceful.

And I'm grateful for that.

Here's to another decade of lessons,
and to hoping they aren't as hard as the ones I learned in my twenties, haha!

Happy Monday,
love Katie 

love in the light

last week, Kevin and I were house sitting for some dear friends. 

The minute I saw their window seat drenched heavily in the rays of sun,

I was mesmerized by the light. 

Light poured into this space all day, so inviting and pure. 

All I wanted to do was curl up, read a  book, and just soak myself in the light. 

So enraptured was I, that I even finagled my sweet husband to do a little shoot with me…lucky him (haha!) 

In the aftermath, as I sat looking at the pictures 

a phrase so powerful kept running through my mind…

that love in the light, is the best kind of love. 

love needs light. 

light that uncovers our darkest secrets so that they are out in the open and free to be dealt with. 

light that exposes our sin, and brings it to the forefront to be redeemed.

light that calls out our unhealthy thought patterns and forces them to be renewed. 

no relationship can thrive in the dark. 

when Kevin and I first started dating, we faced some serious storms at sea, 

where the darkness of our past had to be unearthed in order for our ship to keep sailing. 

we had to admit our failures. 

we had to own up to our past. 

and there were a lot of tears involved. a lot of hurt feelings. a suitcase full of disappointment. 

and yet, when we turned over the baggage of our darkness,

and let it sit in the light, all awkward, and bare and vulnerable, 

it soon became a thing of beauty as Kevin and I resolved to go forward together,

in a radiant step to live and love in the open. 

to be transparent, 

to be authentic,

to be real and honest and vulnerable. 

to be the secret keepers,

the lovers and pray-ers and guardians of one another.  

and where there is light, there can be no darkness at all. 

yes, i'm convinced love in the light is where the joy is at. 

Thank you Jesus, that you are the light of the world. 

and in you there is always enough light to cover us. 

Happy Valentines Day friends,

love Katie (& Kevin too!) 

{aaannnndddd, let's face it…most the time we look like this below…}

Why Not?

When I'm old and saggy and can say whatever I very well please,

what I really want to tell my grandkids is that I lived a good story.

that I took risks and listened to the Holy Spirit.

that I made cookies with my neighbor kids spur of the moment

and moved to Nepal with my husband.

That I skinny dipped in italy,

and ate bugs in Asia, 

and opened my home to anyone looking for love. 

and then I realized that all of those things I wanted to remember,

anything that was worth repeating,

were opportunities that presented themselves that others might say, 

"well, why?..why would you do that?"

"why eat a bug?"

or

"why move to country where the freaking electricity is never on?" 

or

"why live in a neighborhood that has a gang?" 

and here's my very deep and profound answer,

"why not?" 

why.the.heck.not? 

Jesus's life wasn't normal, so why should mine be? 

Jesus didn't have a picket fence or a fat salary or even a permanent home on earth. 

He just carried love around in his pocket, and sowed seeds of beauty and depth, grace and forgiveness. 

these are the thoughts swirling in my head right now, am I weird? 

and so in honor of the 

why not 

statement, 

I am now a farmer. 

I know, laugh. 

please. 

it's hilarious. 

While still in Nepal, my dad mentioned that if we wanted to come and work the rice harvest he'd hire us! 

You see, my family has been growin' rice like nobody's business for the last 100 years. 

and while I didn't grow up in the country or on a farm, i'd love to believe that i'm a farmer at heart. 

Most the time, I settle for being a farmers daughter.

but now with great excitement, I can now say i'm a legit farmer {for 4 more weeks! haha}

Kev and I decided that for one month this Fall, we'd learn how to grow grain like it was our job. 

In fact, it is our job. {not to grow the grain, of course, but to harvest it}

So for the next month, you can refer to me as farmer Katie:) 

I've got my flannel, my jeans, and work shoes...i've even got a grease gun! 

so why not randomly work on a farm? 

we're young, we're able and we still have our eyesight to drive a tractor! 

and won't that make a good story someday? 

I think so:) 

So today, I hope you'll find something to ask

"why not" to! 

surprise yourself, cut loose, and love life for all it's surprises!! 

love Katie 

a very special ring

{our first day in paris...I was a happy girl! you can "kind-of" see my new ring!}

in my single days, whenever I thought about an engagement ring,
I pictured antique/elaborate/sparkle!
However, when I actually became engaged and started ring hunting,

a shift occurred that I least expected. 

Kevin was living in Indonesia at the time, coaching basketball at a university there,

and I was taking a class called Perspectives in the World Christian Movement, basically about missions. 

which brought me to two conclusions about our marriage....

1) that we probably would be living abroad at some point

2) that we would probably be living among the poor

and when I really, truly, pictured our marriage doing ministry together,

I realized that what I wanted the token of our marriage to evoke was simplicity. 

lovely simplicity. 

Kev and I found a stunning ring that a local designer in Palos Verdes (LA) created,

and an antique-inspired band for my actual wedding ring. 

and my favorite part about the ring, was that Kevin purchased the diamond through Brilliant Earth. 

if you haven't heard of them...you should! 

they are a conflict-free diamond company that mines their diamonds in Canada! 

after seeing Blood Diamond, I told Kev I didn't want a diamond unless it was mined in North America. 

nice work husband, nice work. 

Fast forward almost two years into our marriage, and we are living in Nepal. 

this experience has literally changed my life.  

these past five months have been an absolute gift from God. 

there has been a lot of healing and perspective in my heart,

new direction for our future, and inspiration,

not to mention it has been like an extended honeymoon with Kev, as we are together 24/7 

(which i love and will probably grieve when we move back to California!) 

a few months ago, I was processing life with Kev and mentioned how much this season has impacted my life, heart and ministry. 

I told him how beautiful it would be to have some piece of jewelry that symbolized our time here.

Because I love turquoise I immediately thought that this piece of jewelry must be laden with said stone! 

 so...as a special 2 year anniversary present, 

Kev lovingly gave me a special ring to add to my wedding and engagement band! 

it's turquoise,

simple,

and matches my other bands!!!!

{I had a local jeweler design it and I'm seriously over the moon about how it turned out!}

I think there is something really powerful and profound about marking the seasons in your life with some special memento. 

whether a piece of jewelry, a journal (which is my go-to!), a nice picture to frame, or a article of clothing;

 it helps us remember a unique time in our lives where we felt alive and raw and transformed. 

this season has been one of transformation, and every time I look at this ring, 

{which is like every other second, at the moment...}

I will remember the beauty and metamorphous that happened in my life while in Nepal. 

do you have any special memento's that mark a specific season in your life? 

love Katie 
ps- we have been staying at a monastery the last 3 days in Belgium, so no internet!
But we just got to Delft, Holland and are loving it:) 

my husband, redeeming a view of men

{juuussstttt love him!}

One of the biggest and most beautiful blessings being here in Nepal has been watching my husband love on these sweet girls in the home.

If I ever had a grocery list for what I wanted in a husband, 

somewhere on it would read “a love for children”.

check check.

I don’t know how he does it, but his incredible humility, humor and utter delight for life seems to attract even the most distraught of children.
And in this home, there is no exception.

But in this home, the girls are up against a lot more when it comes to men.

“men” doesn’t mean the same thing it might mean for us.

In a normal circumstance a man's presence is generally an every day occurrence that one thinks very little about.
If a man walks into a room, I am not frightened. No, I think very little of it and continue on in my business. 

Often a man symbolizes protection, safety, and maybe some good humor. 

When i'm walking the streets in a big city, like Kathmandu, Kevin's presence produces a sense of safety and well being for me.
{ie: he will kick butt if anyone tries to attack me}

but when you've been abused, sold, tortured, beaten, broken and bruised by a man,

every day,

for a long time,

a man's presence becomes a nightmare.

the very being that God created in his image has been perverted into something heinously evil.

something associated with a bleeding pain of agony that

defaces

devalues

and dehumanizes

a women...

a little girl.

and so that was what we were up against as we began receiving new girls in the home.

a view of man as the perpetrator, as the invader of all things innocent.

and rightly so.

I watched as Kevin gently kept his distance at first, allowing the girls space to feel free.

I noticed as he cracked jokes, and cheered at the girls success in every game we played.

I smiled when he made fun of himself so that the joke was on him, always.

And giggled hysterically when the girls taught him dance moves that he butchered.

and tears fell when I saw the walls began to fall.

there was a shift, and soon Kevin, in his tender, gentle and humorous ways

begin to shake the very notion of a man's presence in these girls lives.

from something evil, to something of redeeming worth.

because you can't fake love,

and when it's true and honest and real,

there is power to break the chains.

{one of the girls giving Kevin a birthday card!}

and i believe with all my little heart that God's spirit is using the unique gifts of Kevin to

vanguard the very essence of man...

the image of God.

that men can be patient, and kind, and protect things of value.

that men can be strong but equally loving and tender.

you guys, every moment I see
the girls get so excited to see Kevin,
or beg to play games with him,
or laugh when he tries hot peppers from the garden,
I am reminded how far they've come,
and how much God has done! 

a few weeks ago kevin decided to make bracelets for the girls.

i'm not gonna lie...my hunky husband is not the crafty type.

so it took me by surprise {to say the least}

and that morning he made 5 bracelets,
and to see the smile on those girl's faces when they received them
made me a bit misty.

 the girls love him. 

and even more, they trust him. 

and it is beautiful.
beautiful redemption.

so thankful to be married to a husband that allows God to use him,
and thankful for a God that chooses to
somehow,
in someway,
 use us. 

happy weekend friends! 

love Katie 

{when we had the girls over to our house, they begged to paint kev's toenails! haha...and he agreed}

{they giggled and giggled and giggled}

{and one sweet one decided to take the polish off...much to kevin's delight!}

to paris with love, our exciting news

via

oh friends, i'm so excited to share with you some lovely little news. 

I suppose this story goes back a few years. You see about six years ago my family decided to host an exchange student. I remember my dad showing me a list of girls the organization gave my family to choose from. I mean, as if that isn't awkward...like, ok pick a girl, any girl. 

But, the moral of the story is that sweet Aline from Switzerland came to live with us for a year. And our family was never the same. In that year she became our third sister, and my parent's third daughter. Our whole family fell in love with her. 

{aline and I at my bridal shower}

Since that year, her whole family has visited our family in the US, and our family has visited her family both in Switzerland and met up when them when we were in France one summer. Aline and her two siblings even flew out for our wedding and they all pitched in to help! 

To say the least, we have been So blessed by them and love this little connection!! 

So...fast forward to this year. Aline is now getting married to an awesome Dutch man named Rick, and our family is invited to the wedding. When we moved to Nepal in April, I wasn't sure if we'd be able to go to the wedding. Flights from Kathmandu to Europe aren't exactly cheap, ya feels me? 

soooooo, I prayed. 

every day. 

I know that seems like a silly thing to pray for, but going to their wedding was something so special to me that I didn't want to miss. My whole family would be going, and I also didn't want to miss out on time with them! 

and you know what, 

God is just good. 

He knows our hearts and the little itsy bitsy desires we have. 

and for ALL his crazy power, He's so completely tender and kind. 

He is. 

That's his nature. 

For the last two months I've been checking out how many points it would take on our credit card for us to receive a free flight to Europe. 

I checked 

almost.every.day.

I was a bit obsessed. 

75,000 points it said, 

Kevin and I were almost to 70,000 and didn't think we'd make 75,000.

I was really, really sad. But trying to have a good attitude. 

Then, all of a sudden, the points dropped to 70,000. We couldn't believe it! 

But the flight only flew out of Delhi India and we are in Kathmandu Nepal. 

Hmmmm....

Then, my sweet parents offered to help get us to Delhi! I couldn't believe it! 

I seriously danced around the room praising God! 

So this past weekend, we bought our tickets! 

wait, what?!!?

YES, we're going to Paris. That was the cheapest place to fly into. 

We'll be in Paris for two days just Kev and I. We've both been to Paris a few times before, but never together, so I'm over the moon about being in the city of love with the one I love:)

Then we'll meet my family in Northern France to see and learn more about the D-Day beaches, and see Mont St. Michel (pictured below) something I've ALWAYS wanted to do! 

via

To prepare for the D-day beaches, Kevin and I have started watching Band of Brothers, the HBO mini-series about paratroopers going in on D-day during WWII. If you like history, or just good tv, this is an amazing series. However I will say, I close my eyes during almost all the fighting scenes...it's hard to watch! But it makes me so thankful for all the brave men who literally gave their lives to help stop Hitler! 

From Northern France we'll go and explore Belgium, and then on to Holland where the wedding is! I can't wait to share pictures and our experiences with you all! 

Basically, I feel so overwhelmed with thanksgiving. God made all this possible. He cares, deeply. Oh, so thankful! 

Thank you for following this journey with me! So thankful for all of you readers!!! 

happy Thursday, 

Love Katie

and ps- my sweet friend Kristyn featured me on her blog here! 

together, because marriage matters

 My brother emailed me today and asked how our marriage was going in Nepal,

 being that we are in a hard place with new types of stressors. 

I sat for a moment in pure silence, thinking and reflecting upon that loaded question. A warm and lovely light seem to illuminate the home we've made here, and I smiled as the answers began to form. 

It's hard to describe how beautiful our precious time here together has been, 

and in short to his question, my answer would be delightful. 

Yes, our marriage has been delightful over here in Nepal. 

not because we are perfect people

despite the fact that we look pretty ragged and gross after puking up last night's dal bhat

or the fact that our bathroom conversations typically end with one of us yelling "my butt just fell off" 

{which is probably about as unromantic as it comes especially when the smell wafts over}

and also, despite the fact that sometimes I'm an emotional train wreck with sob stains on my cheek 

but mostly because our marriage matters in this place. 

It matters because our love is a light that shines in darkness. 

and our love is on a mission to bring the kingdom of God, here and now. 

every marriage matters in the place they are, because every marriage is a ministry. 

every time we serve one another and choose to love even when it's hard, 

heaven tenderly pours down. 

and when our love is on mission to be about more than just us,  

it is a very small expression of Christ, who gave himself up for others. 

today as we lay on our bed in the morning, I leaned over and gently kissed Kev, 

whispering in his ear that I was humbled to be his. 

we laughed and talked about what made this time so special. 

back in the US, when we were both working full time, evenings and weekends were our only time just the two of us. The days filled, and we always had somewhere to be. 

But here in Nepal, we are together every moment of every day. 

we walk all over the city together, we snuggle up at night after the electricity has gone out and talk and laugh and watch movies together, we attempt to cook together, and buy fresh vegetables and fruit at the market together. we meet new people together, and teach the girls english and even some songs and dances together, we take each other to the doctors together, and slowly, painfully learn nepali together. 

together. 

my favorite word. 

It is like Abba has handed us this sacred gift of time, 

where we have one goal and one heart to love and serve God.  

We get to dream and plan and organize and write together. 

recently an amazing organization that works with rescuing trafficked girls approached us about helping to start a website for their handicraft business. Their items are amazing (I can't wait to feature a few on the blog, and maybe even do a give-a-way!). But what was so exciting is just thinking about how Kevin and I are a team in all we do. And that this adventure is really two hearts living as one. 

and that I think is the essence of what makes marriage so sacred and special. 

that God in his infinite wisdom 

would plan a union that unites two,

as a strong cord

 to LOVE God, love each other, and love others

together. 

it's like holy teamwork. 

and even as I sit here all disheveled in my pajamas, my hair a tangled knotty mess, and probably like 500 parasites crawling around having a party inside of me, I feel so thankful to be loved so fully by a man who chooses each and every day not just to "exist and get through" life with me but to "LIVE OVERFLOWING" life with me in a crazy, adventurous, brave, abundant kind of way. 

a way that chooses "us" over "me".

because marriage matters. 

and i'm so humbled that God gave me Kev. 

happy day sweet friend,

love Katie 

happy valentines day, love kevin

well, as i shared, kevin is posting for the first time today. 

he asked me what he should write, and I said, "whatever you want". 

i don't think i was very helpful. 

my sweet kevin does not like to write,
but because he loves me he sat down on the couch and put the petal to the metal. 

poor guy, it was painful.

especially since he knew a ton of people would be reading it.

i think he felt like he had to make it like a college paper, with a thesis and points to back it up.

i kept stealing glances at him.
he looked at me like i was ready to start pulling teeth out of his mouth. 

finally, he stared me down and said "babe, can i just write you a letter?"

of course. 

even better. more personal. 

i adore love letters. 

so without further ado, my handsome husband's letter,

lover,

You are the most amazing and beautiful person I know, and I am so thankful for each day I am with you. You have been a constant source of encouragement, joy, affirmation, and the deepest sense of friendship. I love living life with my best friend, as you amaze and excite me daily. Married life has been incredible with you, and I know I don't deserve someone as amazing as you. Thank you for all the small ways you choose to serve me.  I constantly feel loved by you. The ways in which you look to love and bless others is something that is so attractive to me. Watching you love on the kids in the neighborhood amazes me. You have taught  me so much about just loving people and the way Christ loves them deeply. I am so thankful I get to spend the rest of my life adventuring with you.  

I am and will forever be yours. 

i love you,

kevin 

i feel incredibly blessed.
thank you sweet father for my husband,

love Katie 

the anticipation of home

“The sweetness of reunion is the joy of heaven.” 

-Richard Paul Evans

Today my sweet dearest comes back to me from the kingdom of Nepal.

 He will smell like smoke and curry and many unpleasantries. 

Eyes tired from a long journey. 
from dancing and praising God with a movement of believers,
from speaking at a conference where pastors are empowered,
from sleeping on the ground, and braving the cold weather. 

But I will ever love him for that. 

For spending his life on what counts in the world. 

Hands fidget, tap, in excitement. 

nerves on end, heart racing. 

no more nights solo, a small frame practically swimming alone in our big bed. 

no more inside jokes lost to the wind. 

yes, he is coming. 

i am coming. 

home. 

yes home. 

since married, my concept of home has significantly shifted. 

i pondered and reflected this as he was gone. 

home is not northern california where i grew up. 

nor our apartment in southern california where we live now. 

no. 

home is Kevin. 

home is our love, nestled deep within our shared heart. 

our shared dream. 

our shared hopes. 

and in some small way, the JOY of heaven rains downs when we reunite today. 

the anticipation for something not yet here. 

the swelling, heart full, of love becoming fully realized. 

the ache manifested in the reuniting. 

the LOVE becoming absolutely realized. 

but ever more true is that home home

is with Abba. 

who beckons us to shiver sweet in anticipation for home with the King. 

the reunion that will be JOY, heaven's sweet JOY. 

the angels sing, and we meet our ultimate Lover. 

King Jesus. 

and home will be peace. 

only peace. 

no tears. no hurt. no shame. no wounds. 

just sheer, incredible JOY and PEACE. 

For God, Love, is truly home. 

And that is something worth getting excited about. 

so tomorrow i taste a small flavor of the glorious divine to come. 

and i cannot thank God enough for this flash of heaven. 

i'm getting ready. 

to

go

home

tomorrow with Kevin

and for eternity with the King

happy week to you dearest readers. 

love Katie