Selling Our house- how God continues to answer our prayers

If you haven't read the story of how we bought a house, you can read that first here:) 

While finding and buying our new house has been an incredible experience, it made it more real that we would have to part with our current house. We have poured so much love into this house, or what I like to lovingly refer to as my "cottage".  So many beautiful memories have been made here...we brought our first two children home from the hospital to this house, celebrated countless birthdays, cried and laughed and hosted a million parties and friends from all around the world! 

While I have total peace about moving forward, there is still a sadness to leave this sweet place. This home sort of became our baby...we poured so much time and energy, love and creativity into making this our little cottage and I guess I wanted to see it go to the right people. 

I began to pray that God would bring the right buyers a long, who would love this house as much as we did. Who would see all the beautiful aspects of it...the gorgeous natural lighting, beautiful hardwood floors, all the aesthetic projects we've done to enhance the vibe (ie: shiplap, beadboard, wainscoting, etc). And lastly who would love our neighbors well and desire community.  

The first few days we listed it we had SO many showings. And....getting a home ready to show (ie: CLEAN and TIDY) is absolutely NO JOKE with a toddler and a baby! It's hard enough just to leave the house with little ones, much less vacuum, do dishes, put away junk that kids pull out, etc!!  It almost killed me, but I made it. (Nevermind like 10 minutes before a showing I discovered Everett had grabbed the toilet bowl brush and was walking around the house splashing nasty toilet water on everything!! Gahhhh!!! 

Day 2 of showings we heard there was a couple VERY interested who planned to make an offer. On Day 4 of showings, they did. They sent over a letter to us, and you guys...tears began to stream down my face as I read it. Not only did they write that walking into our house was like walking into their "dream home" but they went on to appreciate all that we had done to make it beautiful. They ended the letter by saying they wanted to continue our legacy of loving and welcoming people in. 

I DIED! I couldn't believe how perfect they were, how much they loved our home, and how they wanted to be a source of community in our neighborhood! Those were all the things I had prayed specifically for. Wow God, thank you! 

Again, just another prayer that God has answered on this journey that shows me we are walking in His will and timing. I have been so impacted by the passages in John that talk specifically about asking for things in Jesus' name, and God saying He will answer. I am not naive enough to think that everything we ask will be answered according to our wishes (because LIFE has shown me that isn't true, haha), but never the less, I've been so encouraged to ASK. To boldly come before his throne and make the ask. If it's in God's will, then He will move in that direction. And if it's not, He will move in another direction. But how the Lord desires us to come to Him. To pour our hearts desires out (big or small). 

Be encouraged sweet friend! Ask today:) 

(A few pics of our current house that we've fixed up the last 5 years!) 

Eternal work…in your home

I'm an Enneagram 3...the achiever.
My biggest motivation is to offer value to the world, and my biggest fear is that i'm worthless.

From a young age I've longed to see God's justice and love flow through me to a hurting world.

It's what led me to...

Organize a 5K in college that raised thousands of dollars for a non-profit working in Africa
Teach English in Thailand (in refugee camps, English camps, Language schools, etc)
Travel all around the USA speaking at schools & companies about the conflict in Northern Uganda.
Start a t-shirt company that donated over $30K to organizations in Africa
Travel to over 40 counties, live in 4 of them
Ask God to displace me so I could meet people who had different experiences as myself
Start a travel blog that sent me all over the world for free
Help set up an aftercare home in Nepal
Go back to graduate school at 29 and get my masters in counseling
Spend 4 years seeing clients and gaining hours to become licensed as a therapist.
Host weekly dinners for my neighbors in our front yard.

I thrive when I am being "productive",
I thrive when I see God's kingdom work go forth,
I thrive when I am actively planning and organizing something that touches the world.


And these last few months with covid have felt stagnant.
No projects to go forth until further notice,
No friends to see in person and hug and cry with,
and mostly, no plans.

Yesterday, I sat in bed and cried my eyes out to Kevin that I was so useless right now.
He humored me, comforted me, and then in the tenderest of ways,

reminded me of my greatest kingdom calling in this moment...my children.

I love my children. And I love being a mom.
But for the most part, caring for children when stuck in quarantine hasn't been exciting and glamorous. It's felt routine and ordinary....predictable.

But in the midst of all that is going on, God has placed upon my heart the incredible reminder that few things in this world are eternal... children are.

CS Lewis wrote,
"Children are not a distraction from the most important work. They are the most important work"

With renewed revelation on the incredible value God places on children,
i'm going forth today armed with the knowledge that
holding
and  kissing
and feeding
and loving,
and teaching
and reading
and shepherding
and praying with my babies
brings the love of Christ and the justice of God into my home. 

What a privilege, what a gift.
May you be encouraged that your work as a mama is eternal work.
Go forth and rejoice in the work God has set before you.

A calling {even when it's boring!}

I'll admit, the last few days i've been viably restless with this season i'm living in right now…mainly, that i'm in grad school {sound familiar?}. In the last week, a few friends have emailed me some very glamorous job opportunities that literally looked like perfect jobs for Kev and I. One was in Uganda doing really great work with an awesome company, another "required" world travel (as if that isn't the best thing EVER!) doing inspirational work with water all over the globe. I felt a shade depressed that we couldn't just pick up and GO. I tried to reason with God, asking him why I wasn't done with this masters program sooner, because "hello God, this is the perfect job for us, and NOW'S THE TIME!". {cue the Good Lord and his bemusment!}

Not to mention, the world cup is on now and all I want to do is WATCH SOCCER. And then there's the beach, and family reunions, and all my taped "House Hunter International" shows that I still need to watch, and i'm like "why am I in school again??, because everything else looks so much more fun!". And instead, i'm slaving away reading textbooks, discussing in online forums, and punching keys to write papers.  Today I sat sentimental in Kev's lap, and asked him "what am I doing?".

He laughed. And I did too.

Because at the bottom of all of this restlessness, I know without a shadow of a doubt that i'm living into my calling. That i'm fulfilling a dream that God has set deep inside of me. And sometimes our calling requires hard work. Dedication. commitment. And boring days.

I really do believe we were all made for something great. Something full of meaning and purpose that fills our soul with an energy from the one who created LIFE itself. God has given each of us a slice of his Kingdom that we get to bring to earth through our actions and love, kindness and peace.

But sometimes our calling is boring and there's no confetti.

Sweet Jesus was given the greatest calling of them all, to come to this world and love the heck out of us crazy people, die on a cross to bring us ultimate healing and relationship with God, and then reign. He had the most epic of callings,

and yet,

he labored as an obscure carpenter under his father for years. boring. 
he sat at the temples and learned scriptures hours upon hours. boring
he walked around in a desert for 40 days. boring. 

And yet all these boring things prepared him to live his calling. The calling that saved me, saved you. And while these seemingly insignificant tasks were monotonous, yes, and boring, they were life changing for the world, for my very soul.

If you are in a place that you find incredibly boring or routine, take heart! This might be part of the training grounds for some epic calling God may have on your life. I worked a non-profit job for many years that at times was incredibly routine and monotonous (and I may or may not have speculated that my eye balls were going to fall out of my head if I had to look at the computer screen for one more minute!) the experience I gained was the exact skill I was asked to perform over in Nepal for the aftercare home. And that was not boring, but brilliant. But I needed that training before hand to equip and prepare me for something greater.

And so as I labor to gain my masters degree in marriage and family therapy, and become a counselor, I remember that this is my training grounds for something God is stirring deep within my soul. I know that He has something prepared for me that is life altering, that is useful and productive, and that is kingdom building. But for now, my job is to trust him and work hard. To allow Him to pour into me, so that I may pour out love to others.

lean into your calling with hope, expectancy, and faith,
even when it is boring.

Happy day friends!

"set a fire down in my soul, 
that I can't contain, 
and I can't control. 
I need more of you God, 
I need more of you God" 

A tough few days, with a happy ending

As many of you already know from social media, these past few days have been incredibly difficult for me. On Monday night Kevin had a full blown heart attack, and truly, was on the verge of death.

To back up and give you some of the back story, Kevin had been feeling chest pain on and off since we had left for Turkey. He experienced it on the plane ride over to Turkey, and a few fleeting moments while we were on our vacation. When we got back last week, Kev immediately went in to the doctors, and was given an EKG. The EKG came back abnormal, so Kevin set up an appointment with a cardiologist for this Tuesday.

Monday night, Kev played basketball with friends, and after he had come home and showered,  began having very intense chest pain. Kevin has a very high pain tolerance, so I knew something must be wrong if he was doubling over in pain. Kevin went back and forth about whether he should go in to the emergency room, and finally his mom and I convinced him he needed to. I think he knew all along he was supposed to go!

We arrived at the emergency room, and they ushered him in right away. In the meantime, i'm sitting in the waiting room, texting friends and family to pray for him. At this point, I honestly didn't think it was going to be anything major. 10 minutes later, a nurse runs out and urgently asks me to come back.

I walk into a room, and to my horror Kevin is laying on a bed with a  100 wires hooked up to him. There are about 5 nurses running around him, and the room is tense. I finally ask someone what is going on. The nurse looks at me, as if to brace me, and whispers, "he's having a heart attack". I lost it, and began to sob. Shock had hit my body.

Within minutes, they prepare Kevin to ride in an ambulance to another hospital which specialized in cardiology.  I had texted his family and my life group to let them know what was going on. They immediately all jumped in their cars and headed for the new hospital.

The ride in the ambulance was scary because it felt so unknown. I really didn't have any idea why he was having a heart attack, and what that meant for him. For pete's sake, my sweet husband is 30 years old, and in great health. It didn't make sense. 

We arrived at the new hospital, and they immediately ushered him into surgery. This was life or death, and every second counted. I sat in the waiting room alone, silently crying, when an EMT came into the room and prayed for me. He was so kind, and gave me a hug after his prayer. I knew God was watching over me and Kevin.

Soon our family and friends arrived, and everyone was sobered by the situation. They hugged me, prayed over me and Kev, laughed with me, and just were there. I felt so wrapped in love that night. The doctor had told me that the surgery would take 30 minutes. 30 minutes went by and we didn't hear anything. 1 hour passed, and still nothing.

This was the hardest part. My mind wandered. I kept wondering, "is this the last time I'll see my husband?" and trembled at the thought. Every time I went there, I crumbled inside. I would be broken without him. I asked for prayers over my mind and thoughts, and soon I felt a very distinct peace. I had to trust that God loved Kevin more than I did. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the doctor poked his head in and called me back. I took Kevin's parents with me. I had no idea what they were going to say to me.

The doctor quickly explained that Kevin's largest artery to his heart had been completely blocked. He was receiving no blood/oxygen to his heart for the last few hours. He looked at me, and said "if you didn't come in tonight, he would have died". The doctor, however, was baffled why a healthy 30 year old who didn't smoke or do drugs, would have a heart attack. The only explanation was family genes, both his grandfather and great-grandfather had a history of heart disease. The doctor and his team had put a stint in Kevin's artery, which will remain there forever. It had taken longer because Kevin is a tall guy, and they had some trouble getting the cathater through his groin, and up into his heart. {who knew you could go through the groin to get to the heart? fascinating!}

When he was done explaining the surgery, I fought every urge inside me to give the doctor a hug and kiss. He saved my husband's life!! I resisted the urge, but loved him for saving a life!

The team moved Kevin to ICU, where he was monitored all night long. He had some irregular heart beats, which made the doctor nervous. I spent all my time with Kevin, as he slept, took his meds, and was tested. Poor guy, my heart was just so heavy for him. Yesterday around late afternoon, we received the good news that Kevin could be moved out of ICU and onto the cardio floor. He had his own quiet room in the corner.

Last night, he took his first few steps around the hallway, which was a victory. We received some wonderful visitors all evening, and then went to bed. I first climbed in to Kev's bed, snuggling with him for about an hour before the nurse told me I needed to go to my cot. I honestly slept like a baby on that cot…but mostly I think it was the happiness over my husband being alive. ALIVE. One verse God gave me in this time was Nehemiah 9:6, which says, "...you give LIFE to everything". I couldn't help but just praise my God for giving life to Kevin.

Today, after so many lovely visitors came to see Kevin, we were told that Kevin was going to be discharged this evening. It was a miracle! Two days before he was on the verge of death, and now he was going home. We are now at home resting. I'm watching my sweet Kevin laying on the couch, and praising Jesus for his life. I know that life is a gift, and i'm so thankful this week God gave me more time with my husband:)

I just want to end by saying a HUGE thank you!! So many of your have left sweet comments on instagram, Facebook, sent me emails, and even called. We have felt absolutely supported from the first minute of this ordeal. I literally think thousands of people have been praying for Kevin, and WE HAVE FELT THE PRAYERS! Thank you thank you thank you. I cannot thank you enough!!

I promise I will try to respond to emails soon! But know that I read them, and was filled with JOY and BLESSING from them:) Ok, well if you made it to the end of this novel, thank you:) You bless me friend!!

xoxo
Katie (and most definitely from Kevin too!!)

when you're a hot mess

         

a few years ago i walked into a forever 21

which also happens to be my favorite store

(which as a side note seems to be the story of my life because for the past 10 years people are forever asking me what high school I go to.  Maybe it's more like Forever 18) 

anyway, the store looked like a yard sale on steroids

or maybe like Ross on a good day

but I became mesmerized by an adorable scarf on a mannequin

and only on a mannequin. 

so i found a worker and asked if I could just buy those threads off the mannequin. 

she looked at me and said 

"honey, if I take that scarf off the mannequin, it will be a hot mess!"

hot mess. 

that was the first time i heard that phrase. 

and I giggled hysterically in my head. 

mostly because 

A) the mannequin was the least of her problems and

B) who says "hot mess"? 

but to be honest, i love that phrase. 

i never use it because i'm not that cool

but the image it conjures up is really vivid, right? 

so a few days ago

I was a hot mess. 

A) it really was hotter than the blazes and

B) I think it's safe to say that we all have those days where 

satan shoots arrows at the core of our fragile heart

and beats lies to the cadence of drums

reverberating the tender spaces of our deepest parts. 

and that's when truth must become the drink of choice
. 

kevin immediatly knew his wifey was off, 

and picked her up into his loving arms, and held her. 

and then he began speaking all that was true over her. 

words filled with beauty, and life, and HOPE

THIS IS WHO YOU ARE moments. 

this morning I woke up and read the whole book of Colossians before work.
because I needed truth. 

and so I am reminded
that when we melt into a hot mess
that the most beautiful remedy is the truth that we are loved
fully, absolutely absorbed in the Father's embrace
that nothing can separate us from HIS love.

and rooted in agape
our mess becomes less
and peace abounds

happy thursday friends:)
love Katie 

the artist

I am so excited for you to meet Amanda today! Amanda and I met in college, and very quickly realized we were practically the same person! We both loved history, studied abroad in Italy, and love Jesus, travel, and all things Jane Austin! Amanda and her husband live in Okinawa, Japan, and have the most beautiful pictures to show for it on her blog, Marshalls Abroad. She is a JOY, and I love her, and I know you will too! Enjoy! 

love Katie 

 My darling friend, Katie! Thank you for having me while you're on your UK-Euro adventure!!

I have been thinking a lot lately about art in it's various forms, whether it be photography, cooking, writing, furniture-making, interior design. There are so many ways to develop creativity and so many ways to communicate to each other.

But what I've been thinking on the most since living on this beautiful little island in Japan is about The Artist. The Lord God Himself. 

This early morning I woke up to the same gorgeous sight I wake up to every morning - the blue turquoise of the East China Sea on our front yard, the waves gently crashing just below our home where the sugarcane meets the sand. The birds singing. Clear skies. It's my favorite time of day here. The sunlight is soft as I walk through my neighbor's plots of farmland - huge heads of lettuce, tomatoes, bananas, green beans - past the goats making their morning noises, down a path and onto the sand where I run. I was mentally bowing my head and singing praises to the Lord with a huge smile on my face. His creation literally cries out in beauty and in song and in joy. 

It's good to be quiet sometimes. It's good to be surrounded by nothing but the outdoors.. and in our case while we live here, the glorious crashing waves. When my husband and I lived in DC, we'd literally have to leave the city atleast once a weekend and drive as far out into Virginia as we could to take a break from smog, crowds, concrete. We've learned the importance of slowing down, being quiet and being surrounded by hills, mountains, ocean, fields, river, vineyards, streams. God's voice in nature is unmistakable! 

As I sit on our balcony admiring my neighbor's red tile Japanese roof contrasted against the turquoise sea and greens of lush trees and bushes with the song of birds and waves, I feel as if I'm sitting in the Lord's sanctuary. He created all this!!! He is the artist behind it all. And I think the point is that God gives us a mind to logically work out that the heavens are declaring something, are communicating something: they are speaking of the glory of the Person who made them. 

"He who forms the mountains,

creates the wind

and reveals His thoughts to man,

He who turns dawn to darkness,

and treads the high places of the earth

the Lord God Almighty is His name."

{Amos 4:13}

31 years ago....

31 years ago my beautiful parents were married. I wish I had a picture of their wedding...my mom was gorgeous of course and my dad was all gussied up in his brown suit looking fashionable!

31 years, 4 kids, and a hoard of pets later, they are still enjoying life to the fullest! I love them for that.

Mom and Dad, you've shown Kevin and I what it takes to foster a loving relationship that lasts a life-time. Thank you for putting God first, and family second. Here are the things i've learned from you (well, this list could go on, but here are my top 5):

1) Respect Others. Every day on my way to school, my dad would walk me out the door, and say "how are you going to treat people today Katie?". And I would answer "With respect". Every day. It was our ritual. Thank you for teaching us how to love and respect others:) You lived it!

2) A home cooked meal around the table with family is just about as good as it gets! My mother is an incredible cook, and I never realized the sacrifice she put forth in cooking something delicious for us every night. Newsflash, cooking takes time and lots of preparation! Gourmet meals don't just pop up out of no where. Some of my best memories were spent around the table eating, and laughing, and talking and discussing! Heck, it's where my parents told us they were having a baby (Polly) and we didn't believe them, haha! So thanks for creating more than just food Mom, thanks for creating memories and for being so diligent about gathering us at meal times.

3) Traveling is IMPORTANT! Ever since we were little, my parents traveled with us and cultivated a sense of adventure and risk. As a family we've traveled the world, slept in a van in the middle of a soccer field in Italy, milked cows in Sweden, and built houses together in Mexico. My parents put me on a plane to Costa Rica by myself at 14, and I never looked back. When I was thinking about dropping out of grad school, my mom was the one cheering me on to move to Thailand. I am so thankful they both still have the travel twinkle in their eye after all these years!

4) Work hard, be generous, and YARD SALE (or at least be thrifty!) My dad is a farmer, and I don't know if anyone works harder than the farming breed! Both my parents are incredibly diligent in their jobs, but they make it a priority to be good stewards of their earnings. They've taught us to give with a cheerful heart! And if there's anything my mom has taught me, it's why spend $10 on a shirt when you can find a perfectly good one for 50 cents at a yard sale? Logic, people, come on!

5) Love God! One thing my dad says a lot (he has a stash of great "repeat" sayings) is "Make the main thing the main thing". My parents have done an excellent job of keeping Jesus the main thing. They love God, and raised us to love him with so much freedom in our lives.

Thanks Mama and Daddio! Hope the Bucra meeting and Arbuckle were thrilling adventures! haha, enjoy tonight!

love ya! Katie and Kevin

Identity, it's thieves, and living free

{random side note, I LOVE these picture above...Kev, Izzy and I went mini golfing and found these glasses...oh the fun we had!}

A few weeks ago I was working a booth for ELI at Global Vision Week at Azusa Pacific University. I was in my element, connecting with students and telling and listening to stories. Don't you just LOVE stories:) But the most hilarious slash embarrassing part of the week, was the fact that after 27 years as a Katie, it was apparent that I have a speech impediment when it comes to saying my name, and only my name. It's true, for some reason "Katie" evidently comes out sounding like "Ketty" or "Casey" or "Callie". You might think i'm joking, but almost 80% of the time, people had to crane their ears my way, and ask me again what my name was, almost always insinuating it was something other than Katie. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or make an appointment with a speech therapist.

But as I was reflecting on my apparent lack of name pronunciation, I started to think about how our name is the doorway to our identity. I mean, the most basic form of Identification really just has your name on it, right? Identity is a strange beast. In childhood, we seem to just be completely free with who we are (for more on that, see my post on children here). We inherently move and think and breathe and laugh, oblivious to making a wrong move or saying the wrong thing.

And then the awkwardest stage alive hits us; our hormones start to party, and we finally realize that Payless Shoe source just doesn't cut it if we want to be cool. It's like the scene from Genesis when Adam and Eve realize they are naked for the first time, and cover up with fig branches (which I always thought was random). But for us, it's make-up and zit cream, and bad bangs, and airwalks (for my generation). But mostly it's the hard part of realizing that you are being judged and having no idea how to deal with it all. For me, seventh grade is when I began to lose that childlike confidence and wonder. I had a friend, who at times was a gem. And then at other times, was extremely sarcastic and hurtful. Whether or not she realized it, her cutting remarks and cold shoulders began to push me to live out of fear. I was fearful of saying the wrong thing, or worried that I wouldn't be funny if I tried. I began to think and re-think the things I wanted to say, timid that I would be shot down by her. My identity soon became marked by a crippling fear.

{see, now is this picture not awkward? what the heck am I even doing?}

And soon, like most insecurities and fears, we develop some way to compensate. For me, I replaced my personality with personal accomplishments. I thought that if somehow I was able to engage in enough applaudable endeavors, or travel to the most exotic destinations, people would pick out those treasures and consider me a person of value. But that gets tiring, when all we are is reduced to a resume or a superficial conversation that finds its foundation in one-uping the other person. Whew, tires me out just thinking about it. But to some degree, i'm sure you all can resonate with the futility of this exchange.

And then I moved to Garnet Lane, where people didn't give a darn about what the heck I had done with my life. No one dealt in resumes, or cared what University I went to. I don't think anyone even knew where UC Davis was. I was away from everything that I knew, and in the middle of the 'hood, where the tamale man was more common than the mailman, mariachi music was the disc of choice, and walking past the shrine to Mary became old hat. I was no one special, just a girl who began to "be" and not "do", to "observe and learn" and not "divide and conquer".

And then God began his business of undoing the skewed identity that had grown layers of peels around my fragile heart. He worked with hands so soft, bringing dear souls into my life to teach me what it looked like to just BE. In the past, my inner-multi-tasker would sound the alarm that I was invariably wasting time. But as God began to pump his likeness through me, he would gently whisper “Katie, as you look to ME for guidance, I enable you to do less, but accomplish more”. My eyes began to see the beauty in just sitting with a neighbor, or playing cards with a child– even if I felt like it was wasted time. I began to realize that God wants us to waste precious time WITH him, and with his people. No longer was identity in the doing, but in the being.

And then came a taste of freedom- of catching that vision that my identity was no longer rooted in fear, or driven by accomplishment. My identity blossomed when God taught me the beauty of obscurity that took eyes off ME, and on to HIM and his people. Freedom is when we live like Jesus, with a love so deep for Father and people that it burns with no competition in our hearts. I admit that I am only a student and that my great Rabbi is still teaching me daily. But I take steps, and my master guides my way.

And even if I can't pronounce my name, whatever! I don't care if you call me Ketty or Casey or Bertha....my identity is in Christ, it is no longer I who live but He!

Happy Tuesday!!

Love Katie